h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Ork Warlord Great-claw Urukhide has amassed a mighty force. The Forces of Hylia were able to keep him in check, until the intervention of the Skaven allowed his forces to break free of the World's Edge Mountains. Requests for help were sent across the Empire and to Evadia, as the province of Talabhiem prepared for a long and brutal seige...

In the land of Evadia, countless mercenaries answered the call to arms, as well as the standing army of Evadia. Within a courtyard just within the walls of Junon, A Mercenary Captain named Pathos is taking on recruits to help save Talabhiem.

[Pathos] Come on people! There must be someone brave enough to accept this mission!

i'm here to sign up as a mage

An Evadian fast-courier on in his perfumed riding gear and on his wiry steed, watches the recruiting. A hand reaches from the crowd, handing him a sealed scroll for a certain Dragonheart, and a purse for his trouble. He wheels and gallops off.

[Pathos] Welcome! Always glad to have a mage! Now, is there anyone else joining us today? I'd feel strange if there's only two of us to march out...
*A courier steps out of the crowd, and hands Pathos a Telegram.*
[Pathos] Hmm...
"NKAI AT ESSENVAGE STOP
MEET ME THERE STOP"
Looks like we have N'kai on our side... Excellent. He'll prove invaluable when the fighting turns nasty...

n'kai? we've met not on a happy accation either

[Pathos] Few do... We can't wait any longer. Any new recruits will have to join the baggage train. Scratch Company! Form up!

*Pathos gathers his troops as the army begins the march. The cheering crowds line the streets, battlements and gatehouse to cheer the men off. First out are the knights, lead by Cavelry, then Infantry. A deafening roar drowns out the crowds, as Gryphon, Knight Baron and ruler of the Dragon Knight Order, soars out upon Typhon, his massive Dragon. The crowd cheers all the more; a 70ft Dragon will terrify any foe.
Following the knights is Tom Hawk and his regiment, the Hellbringers. Two Crossbow regiments follow, then the Whiteshields. The crowd roars as they leave, and many wish their sons, and a few daughters, good fortune in earning their Colours.
Last out is Pathos' Scratch Company, followed by two cannons. The baggage train follows soon after.

Somewhere within the front rank of the Scratch Company, Pathos and Phoniex, marching to face a distant foe...*

*a light heat surrounds pathos and phoniex* do you mind im sorry im cold

[Pathos] Not at all. It gets awful cold this time of year.

anything else to aid you, im used to magic

[Pathos] Unless you can get this entire army to Essenvage in record time, then nothing, I'm afraid...

i could do it but i would be drained

[Pathos] Don't worry about it. We won't be marching long... I hope.

i could half the time if you want

[Pathos] Shouldn't worry too much. We'll be...
*Pathos stops. There is a regiment moving to join the army. Their armour is black and purple, their banner jet black. The Black Knights, led by N'kai.*
[N'kai] *To Gryphon.* I decided to come earlier. Essenvage was assaulted by Orcs. We repelled them, though. You should be ready for ambush.
*N'kai and his men join the march.*

hello N'kai good to see you.

*N'kai smiles.*
[N'kai] Oh, it's you...

yes, me i am not interested in your redundant head games nor are we supposed to be enemies i am here to fight the againt the enemy as a mage.

*N'kai laughs.*
[N'kai] A Mage? Why do we need a Mage!? We have a Dragon! We have the men of Evad!
*This gets a cheer. N'kai clearly knows how to play the crowd.*
[N'kai] And you have me.
[Voice] Does that mean we can go home?
*Laughter.*
[N'kai] That's not up to me... Anyway, looks like we're close to Essenvage...

honestly you being here endangeres us more than it helps us. i am here to help whether that means hurting you or the enemy that would help us more