h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

very interesting im intruigued. me i am The Warrior Princess Phoniex of The Nymphian KIngdom Heir to the throne in a different world to this

[James] Well, enough of my world. Welcome to my fathers...

*The Army marched into the gates, and James looked up in suprise at the man waiting on the battlements.*
[James] Father!
*John Dragonheart, Knight Baron of Evad, was watching the army march through the gates. He waved at his son, and came down to meet the army.*
[Dragonheart] Hey James! Glad to see you!
*looks around at the others.*
[Dragonheart] Woah, good crowd! Hawk, nice to have you here! Razian? Well, just do what you do. Gryphon! I /knew/ that was Typhon! Good to see you, man! You're... Pathos, right? Glad to see you. N'kai! You... You're N'kai.
*Turns to Phoniex.*
[Dragonheart] And you I don't know. You are?

I am Phoniex the warrior princess heir to the nymphian throne in a different world to this it is good to meet the father of such a formidable son *james blushes*

*Dragonheart laughs.*
[Dragonheart] Heh, well, he's still got a way to go... Then again, most people ae at least 20 before they get to knighthood.
*Dragonheart looks up at the battlements. Men are lined up there, ready to face the Orc hoard.*
[Dragonheart] They chased us out of the mountains. There's a lot of 'em comin' this way. I didn't have time to make a headcount, but I'd estimate at least 8,000...
[N'kai] That'll do for me, but what about everyone else?
*The men laugh. Some of them have a nervous edge to their voice.*

vain arent you n'ka? James where can i store my things

[James] I'll go find a storehouse somewhere...
*N'kai looks at Phoniex, a confused expression on his face.*
[N'kai] Vain? I'm sorry, but I can handle 8,000 Orcs. The ninth battle of Black Fire Pass proved that...
[Gryphon] Yes, that was impressive. N'kai and 80 of his men, plus about 300 Empire soldiers, fought a force of almost 10,000. Only N'kai survived the day, and he was drenched head to foot in Orc blood. If you stick with him a while, you'll learn many of his boasts are based on real-life events.

that is still no cause to boast about events being humble is the sign of a true warrior *walks off* oh and i need Kalemdian *whistles and a winged ebony horse appears* come on kalemdian we must find somewhere to have a meal. *they walk off*

*One of the guards on the wall above cries out in panic, and dives for cover as a mass volley of arrows peppers the walls. No-one is hurt, but most refuse to get back up to the wall. N'kai looks up, a feral gleam in his eye.*
[N'kai] It seems battle is joined...
*Archers, Riflemen and Crossbowmen man the walls en masse. Cannons and other war machines are rapidly manned. The Orcs have begun their assault...*


300 Meters from the wall...

*a faint blue sheild appears over the area, phoniex walks back* do not worry this should protect everyone whilst we ready are selves for battle. i need to sit down to keep it up though, battle items cant come in but we can fire out

*The men take aim. N'kai joins them on the wall, and casually dispells a blast of green lightning from an Orc Shamam.*
[N'kai] Don't worry, Phoniex, I'll protect you...
*N'kai spins, deflecting a red ball of magical force with his sword. He raises it high into the air.*
[N'kai] Bring me your Best!!


250 meters...

thankyou n'kai *phoniex sits down and the blue sheild still holds firm* my men help * 25,000 nymphs appear to help the fighters*

*The Dragon soars overhead, torching the Orcs as it passes. Arrows, black powder bullets and N'kai's dark magic blast apart all who get close. Suddenly, N'kai looks up in horror.*
[N'kai] Chaos! They have Daemons! I can't hold them!!
*N'kai is blasted clean off the wall, and Phoniex's magic barrier fails. Daemons, dark beings of Chaos, storm ahead of the Orcs. In there midst is a mighty Greater Daemon, as tall as a house. Magic crackles from it, and it commands magic with total control. A Greater Daemon of Tzeench. The men panic. The Daemons were summoned right next to the wall. Towers of blue and green fire erect themselves next to the wall, allowing access to the Ramparts.*
[Hawk] Crap! We've got to hold! Hellbringers, with me! Follow your Captain! For Death! For Gold! For Glory!!

SIX HOURS BEFORE

It took a hard day's march to get there, a grim trek through a sandy badland, the sun beating down on the living as if saying, yes, we don't need you kind here.

Striking Arm looked down from his vantage point on a peak, spying the enemy army. A sea of scaly green skin, banners, and spears. He appraised them with a hunter's eye. He had one thought:

Difficult.

Everyone else busied setting camp, Dragonheart somewhere scouting for earthworks, Misericordia...

What could he say? Miseri had completely lost her sharp tongue; in fact hardly spoke at all, only dumbly and mutely staring at Graham Jack from time to time.

Graham was busy, practicing and practicing with his new crossbow. Slime he might've been, T'kren knew weapons. That was good. Graham didn't look very good with the short stabbing sword at his side.

A puzzle. What connected the boy to Miseri? Why did it seem like she recognized him? Strange.

i will not give up *blue lightning crashed and a portal opens* Fie, Kalemdian and Isaermaerie i need you *a giant phoenix a giant dragon and a giant griffin appear* attack!

Subject: The Green Legion

"For gloryyy!!"

The battle has been raging three minutes. Already, the defenders' fate looks grim. Green marauders as far as the eye can see overrun the peaks and the barricade, picking the Green Legion apart. They surged forward, among the enormous Greater Daemons. To one side, four adventurers fight.

"EYAAAUUGH!" Orc.
" " Striking-Arm.
TCHTHUNK! Axe meeting Orc.

The introduction didn't last long as Arm swept the blade clean past to carry it into another Orc. The Orcs, powerfully built warriors, green-skinned bloodthirsty barbarians, were really nothing special to Arm.

One charged, sword high and swinging. Arm ducked and let him pass over his back and into Kinkawoodles' deadly halberd. The man had fitted a blade onto one end of his staff, and a ball-and-chain on the other, and was now slashing and smashing it everywhere.

Arrows and bolts whistled. Behind the two, Miseri and Graham Jake were striking the enemy down with their deadly aim. They dealt with the Orcish ranged units, spear throwers and axe throwers, and laid down covering fire for the Legion. Arm and Kinka gave them breathing space, battering down anyone rude enough to pass.

Like everyone, they ducked as the Daemon threw a bolt of fire their way.

"We have to take out the Daemons!" Miseri yelled. He hair was caked with sweat and others' blood, but she still managed to look attractive. Arm, axe in both hands, swiped it horizontally through a mass of Orcs.

"I can!" Graham Jake.
"How?" Miseri.
"Just trust me! Get me close to one of them."
"Arm! Bald Guy! Let's get close to a Daemon!"

----------

For Future Reference:

Graham Jake's Spellbook Version 2.0

Featherfall
Allows a person to leap great distances or fall from prodigious heights and land unharmed. Temporarily negates an object's weight.

Bloodlust
Endows a savage lust for blood in a warrior, giving him a madman's strength and lack of prudence. Multiplies strength fourfold.

Speed
Supercharges ones' speed and reflexes fourfold.

Light of Life
Healing. Repairs battle wounds and sickness.

.
*N'kai saw the arrows before Phoniex did, and dived for her. He grabbed her, rolled, and barely escaped four arrows that peppered the floor where Phoniex had sat moments before. Two more rebounded harmlessly off N'kai's armour. N'kai picked up a bow as he rolled, and before Phoniex could get her bearings back, N'kai had shotr four Daemons clean off the battlements. N'kai was proving his power in magic, archery, and his paternatural reflexes. The only thing left was his infamous combat capabilities.*
[N'kai] Looks like you owe me, Phoniex...
*Five ladders slam onto the wall. N'kai tries to push them off, but for every one that falls, two more come up. Plus the Daemons are closing... N'kai gives up, and readies himself for a fight.*
[N'kai] Ready to see the greatesr warrior alive in action?


*Hawk slew two Orcs in quick succession. He cried out as a Goblin Doom Diver, a Goblin that is fired from a catapult while wearing a crude pair of wings, slammed into the battlements not far from him, killing two Talabhiem Riflemen in a shower of blood and gore. He summoned the runes of fire on his sword into life, and immolated three Orcs trying to scale ladders. Not enough. Not nearly enough...*


*The Knights of Evad fought bitterly at the top of the gate, pouring boiling water over the Orcs trying to use a battering ram. Four ladders were raised, but so many Orcs died to these elite warriors that they decided to abandon scaling the North sections. Dragonheart raised his sword high, and cried out a rally call.*
[Dragonheart] Dragon's fury! Nuln's might! Onward to victory!!
*A Resounding cheer went up from the knights, and Gryphon swooped down upon the Orcs again, his dragon burning a bloody path through the Greenskins.*

it seemsto me its time to reveal some more magic in the situation. *the sky darkens and fire bolts pick of several orcs at a time in a miniute about 200 are killed.* this doesnt need my strength now ive started it. Thankyou n'kai dont worry the debt will be repayed

*N'kai turned and laughed at Phoniex. The Daemons walked out of the blast unscathed.*
[N'kai] Nice try, but they won't let you cast every time...
*N'kai dives into the fray. Daemons are ripped apart as his enchanted blade sliced through them. Their bodies crumple to dust and vanish as N'kai fights closer and closer to the Daemon Tower...*


A warning about magic. The creatures involved are magically based, and so can cast magic. The Greater Daemon is extremely powerful, and would dispel (or at least weaken) any magic used by our forces. Until it is destroyed, keep magic weak. For mages, that'll pose an extra problem...

i guess ill be more help as a fighter * phoniex jumps up pulling her bow from nowhere and she starts to fire knocking down a creature with every shot*