h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just read all the previous postings, and a lot of people who have got revenge on somebody have done it in such a way that the person didn't know it was being done. That's one way, and it gives quiet personal satisfaction, but the person who hurt you doesn't know that you have 'got even'. Here are my 'rules for revenge'.

1. Whatever the 'revenger' does must not be illegal.
2. The 'revengee' (person who 'done them wrong') must know who the 'revenger' is.
3. The 'revengee' must live to suffer as a result of the revenge. (I've never seen the point in killing somebody in revenge for what they did - even if what they did was murder.)
4. The 'revenger' must be alive after taking revenge. (No suicide attacks.)
5. The 'revengee' must have no legal way of getting back at the 'revenger'. Any attempts to get back at the 'revenger' should result in the 'revengee' ending up in court, being fined and possibly even ending up behind bars.

Please don't get me wrong. I am *not* a naturally vengeful person. Whoever has hurt me over the years, I have made *no* attempt to get even, however bad the hurt has been. (And believe me, there have been a couple of people in my life who have made life hell for a time. I don't see them now, and try not to even think about them. What they did still rankles, but I have no desire - or legal way - to get even with either of them.)

A purist revengeist would add another 'rule': the revenger must not be any worse off as a result of the revenge carried out. No cutting-off of your nose to spite your face.

Yes, I was going to include something like that, but forgot. Thanks!