h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Somewhere along the line, everything went terribly wrong. I blame the series of 'American Pie' movies. Our school is being americanized. The glamour and sophistication that my school associates with the prom, conveniently forgetting about the alcohol and casual sex that also comes with it, has proved too much for my superficial classmates.

This isn't the only example of the global brainwashing that the American television and film industry is responsible for. What I would like to specifically mention are 'Year Books'.

Now, I'm all for letting these blonde high-lights on legs have their little picture book, but when my name is going to be feautured, I would like a say as to what my caption reads.

Now, let's put this in a social context.

Naturally, the year book is to be compiled by the 'populars'.
[Note- the title of 'populars', is ironic, as they are in fact incredibly unpopular. Not just amongst nonentities but secretly with each other.]
I myself, do not belong to this social grouping, and am forced to sit back and have my good name dragged through the mud, so to speak. As I'm sure many of you will know, what one set of 'populars' do, the other 'populars' follow suit. One class 'popular' had the idea of having a theme... unfortunately I was born unto the 'fairer sex', which means we have to name ourselves after barbies and/or use a 'cute' title, such as 'Little Miss'.

As I am a non entity, I am not consulted with regards to my 'nickname', and as I was not notified, I did not respond, and as I did not respond, I do therefore not have an opinion. Half the class it would appear have had our nicknames made up by the people, who obviously feel they know us best.

My nickname was predetermined. I am to be named 'Little Miss cynic'. As was my friend's, 'Little Miss alleluia'. The reason for their choice was down to the fact she goes to Church.

Here's a transcript of the conversation that took place:
Popular X - We've come up with a list of your nicknames
Non entity Y - These are terrible!
Popular X - No they're not. They describe your personalities.
Non Entity Y - Little Miss alleluia?
Popular X - Yeah, Vicky came up with that one!
Non Entity Y - Wow, someone give her a gold star
Popular X - YOU'RE Little Miss Cynic
Non Entity Y - Well Little Miss Mummy Took Me Shopping In Paris For The Weekend, I would rather we put our own choices down rather than have someone who believes that sharing a form room consitutes as a life long friendship
Popular X - Fine. You do it then. Like you could do any better.
Non Entity Y - I couldn't do any worse

I am also looking forward to the photographs page. A lovely collage of pictures featuring, the 'populars' in all their superficial glory. You may be wondering why I am making such a big deal out of this, you will do well to remember I am purchasing this for the costly price of £17.50. If I am spending that much on something so trivial, I would at least like a say as to what goes in the cursed thing.

This isn't over. No doubt there shall be many more complaints to come, and when they do, I shall write them here.

Yours,
Natealy
x

How stupid is that! Im glad I don't have to have one of them, I'm definatly not a 'popular'! Those americans are taking over!

Darlin'... do me a favour and give Little Miss 'My head is so far up my own ar#e I'm running round in cricles' a punch for me, okay<?>

Goshdarned Americanisation.

Sincerely,
Little Miss Nonconformity.

Hmm, just you wait until I start signing other people's copies...

"£17.50 and all I got was this lously ego trip"

For me it'd be worth it just to write that in everone else's yearbook...

"I'd ask for the name of your plastic surgeon, but he did a really bad job..."
"I'm already putting bets on when you'll be pregnant by..."
"I guess having an ego is better than nothing..."
Or [in the style of Phil Nichols] "OH MY G#WD YOU'RE AMERICAN!!! Wow! American! Oh my g#wd! *jumps up and down sarcastically*"

i am glad i dont have any of this stuff to put up with but nat givew em hell and start thinking what to put in each of the so called populars to really burst there bubbles

andy

the plastic surgeon one's good, or how about "you put the whore in horrifying". yes it is from a cheerleading movie which personally I haven't seen but it's cool, my camp friend andrew said it to my girlfriend, tee hee!

Ahh, I'm going to spend weeks thinking of witty things to say, and all I'll end up doing is signing it:

"Best wishes for the future.."

no no you mustn't pass up this opportunity!! come on you're unlikely to see them again aren't you?

I will see them again. I'll have to spend another 2 years with them for A level. Sigh.

Ah you poor child.

Can't complain. Oh wait. I can. And will.

Complain all you like!

Oh don't you worry, I will.

Go ahead.

Hey, why don't we all run away to Brighton and go to a decent 6th form there<?>

u could even come over here to Devon!
although it's rather boring. make that very.

Wahey, the land of Matt and co.

Yuh. Get this - apparently Chris still lives around here!! My sister has made lots of implausible stalking plans...

Here's a new one!

I found out yesterday that my Dad knows a guy who's friends with someone in the band...

*x-files sound FX*