h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The graveyards are filled with men who are willing to die for there country...

not only money makes the world go round (see A652745)

You are special and unique, just like everyone else.

Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism...

a glass is never half full or half empty.
there is something in the glass that is important!

Some men see things as they are and say 'Why?'.
I see things as they are and say 'Very nice, but what the heck is it?'.

"A zygote is a gametes way of creating more gametes. This may be the point of the universe"

STATEMENT: America is one big asylum.
PROOF: American television is full of people saying 'Last night God spoke to me...' and so forth. If you were to go to any asylum anywhere in the world and say 'God speaks to me'... they wouldn't even let you home for your pygamas!

your destiny is not being rich, but you are being rich by following your destiny.

yesterday is history, tomorow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

never help scorpion over the river, better help the with his shoes

It's never the end of the world. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

- Charles M. Schultz

Don't marry a man in Delta Force; he'll probably murder you (true, read the Times Suppliment from Sunday).

Don't join the SAS; you'll probably commit suicide (see above).

Closer the the fortune cookie thing is the classic :

"That wasn't chicken."

bit by bit the egg gets legs (an African saying)

"your brain will get legs too and increase your knowlegde".

"the world may be round but im not"

Two of the world's great oxymorons: AOL On-line, and Microsoft Works.

"Real men only eat food available from vending machines. Quiche is NOT available from vending machines"

Liam.

Life is short,but it is WIDE.