h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right you are. I say, that apparatus looks capable of better things than the faking of Glen Wobble for the murky mercenary purposes of certain blackguards we needn't mention as we all know who they are. *baleful looks in all directions that should wither the guilty or at least their appendages*

*from inside the shed*

Is the coast clear Chaps ?

Yes, yes, you just come on out *hiding empty bottle behind back*

*from inside the shed*

OK I'm coming out then.

No really, come on out, i need a man! Yes! Can you look at this dungheap? What oh what am I doing wrong, I did all that blasted GuideML stuff, and last time it worked an now it don't. Can you have a squint at it? http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A2338058

*from inside the shed*

Any moment now.

I should hang on in there for a while Redders, to be on the safe side.
The natives are looking a bit restless.
To say nothing of Dellers.

*from inside the shed*

Maybe in a little while then ?

*the Shed Door opens a crack, then wider, until satisfied the coast is clear Redders emerges*

Ah Monsieur Rougechien! Ou est votre bicylette? Oui oui! You staggair back shouting 'Nom du nom','sacrebleu'! Yes it is I!
*Buckles and swashes a bit but doesn't really have much to buckle or swash with,having left her sword dangling on another thread *


And so we meet at last! And let me tell you mon ami,it is your last!!

*Trips over battle helmet and bruises her best side* By Arnica! There goes my chance of a photo in 'Chat' magazine...

Steady on old gel !

Although I don't generally hold with this french malarky I do seem to remember I picked up a french fan club called Les Chiens Rouge A676488 a few years ago wonder what ever became of them

Anyhow Hog seems to have done a runner - such a rotten pity we couldn't apprehend the bounder what with me trapped in the shed and all that. Deuced shame

Trapped? Unwilling to face your responsibilities more like. Come out at once,sir!

Well, no real harm done, the damned scoundrel will come slinking back at some stage.
Have to, if he wants his P45, or whatever it`s called, what!!

Pity about the Glen Bobble, though...chortle chortle chortle...I did say it would all end in tears..

You said nothing of the bally sort! You said missmollywolly in the 3.15 at Kempton Park 7/2 was a dead cert...said you had it from the trainer that she went like Tony Blair at a Clare Short convention as long as the going was soft! I put no money on it of course.

*a figure somewhat resembling a moving haystack appears from the mists of the Golf course and makes his way towards the potting shed*