h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The wall suggested I leave the brake line a nice piece of ham, from the pig creature who so willingly gave it to me.. The TV, though, thought that was stupid, and that I should just softly touch it while whispering softly.

I really don't want to crawl under the car.. Throwing a piece of ham under there would be much easier.. But I'm uncertain as to what to do. Any suggestions?

-jb

>>Is a small religion better than a large religion?<<

Women have always insisted that size isn't important, in a way that leads me to believe that they really mean size is *vitally* important. Or perhaps I never understood that particular debate. So is size important for a religion? No, of course not; it makes no difference at all. Definitely...

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

Wow, random chance religions....I like it!!

and just for giggles, I'd like to submit for the hat the faithful worshippers of pica-jesus. It involves the worship of a small plastic picachu that 'goes places'. The only requirements are that you make a sacrifice of a ceci-nut, and hate the show pokemon, for it is slanderous to the all mighty

oh JB, i asked the spirit that would reside in my pencil sharpener what you should do about your breaks, and it replied "Why don't you just shove a pencil into it's mouth, you sadistic b*****d" I'm not sure if that helps or not, but i'm pretty sure that my pencil sharpener is unhappy with me...

I'm not entirely sure that your pencil sharpener is a reliable source of advice, Engels.. I think it's kind of bitter. My table suggests using pens more.

-jb

Would it help if you got the attention of other people's brake line spirits, by stepping out in front of cars a lot? I mean, what's faith if you don't take some risks?

Maybe that's not good advice. I got it from the spirit of my shirt, but it's something of a practical joker - wide collar, y'know...

The ham might be good, but you could probably get by with a small plastic pig, or some other representation of ham, like maybe run over a bad actor!

Probably not. Don't you have to make offerings to spirits to appease them?

Do you have a goat you could sacrifice or something?

(Disclaimer: I do not advocate blood sacrifice)

My Wooden Stick, which has always been the most reliable spirit for me, thinks that if you really want the brake lines appeased, you should let a tire roll over your finger, thus making it far more friendly and since tires as you must know are so infectious (they blow up, you blow up, etc.), the entire car will become much happier. If you don't feel that that is a good idea, though, it says to just put something related to ham under the car.

Very excellent.. I've taken all of your advice to heart, and decided that throwing a piece of ham under my car would do quite nicely. So far it seems to be working, as my brakes haven't failed yet. Thank you again for helping me in my.. erm.. Would this have been a crisis of faith? Hehe..

-jb

The next draw must be due soon. I can hardly wait! Who will it be? More entertainingly, who will be This Week's God?

Pattern-chaser, quivering with anticipation

What do we want? Religions! When do we want them? Am I in the right place?

Maybe. Umm...

Well, we could always claim this is a 'know your enemy' exercise. Who could prove otherwise? Besides, I really am enjoying it, so there.

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

Sure! We're just trying to give some of the more obscure, um... faiths, equal chance to be targets of our ridicule! Next drawing tomorrow!

*deackie keeps her fingers crossed*

Is the Church of the True Brownie included?

Hello Lucinda If it isn't, I demand to know why. Where is the independent adjudicator and the white gloves?

Church of the True Brownie, eh? Just in time.

*GTB throws church of true brownie into hat, and looks about for some random numbers or something*

. . . . .

MaW...


It's Tuesday!


The spirits of the 5 and 10 Shilling coins I flipped have chosen you, MaW. And they've also chosen your belief for this week...


I don't think this counts as a *religion* as such. That's ok, I hope. It's kinda like the opposite of last week's. The spice of life, they say...


Congratualations MaW, you're an Objectivist!!!


That's right, your belief system comes from the pages of the novels of Ms Ayn Rand. 'Fountainhead', 'Atlas Shrugged'.... bring 'em on!

I'm glad this one came up, because I know precious little about Ms Rand's philosophy, and maybe I'll learn something this week. Anyone more familiar with the details than I am, please tell! My only impression is that you're supposed to be really logical and really selfish. I expect there's more to it than that.

A455311, the Edited Entry on Ayn Rand and Objectivism might be of interest...

(Note the nifty new way to put links in forum postings!)

Ayn Rand apparently described Objectivism briefly as:

Metaphysics: Objective reality - "Nature, to be commanded must be obeyed"
Epistemology: Reason - "You can't eat your cake and have it too"
Ethics: Self interest - "Man is an end to himself"
Politics: Capitalism - "Give me liberty of give me death"

Objectivism rejects any belief in the supernatural, mysticism, skepticism, determinism, altruism, collectivism, facism and socialism.

Reality is. Man can know reality through reason. Man lives for his own sake, neither sacrifing himself for others, nor others for himself. The only politics is complete capitalism, no government regulation or redistribution of wealth.

Personally, I can't see it catching on ...