h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wheee! I'll put up another one then!

*scampers over and puts up another notice, this time saying "POST NO BILLS"*

*The Krylma Leader sighs*

KL-Why did y...you just. ...well, you stepped in the shadow, that time. Congratulations, you're stuck in the shadow. It's one of the most powerful one-way force fields in the known galaxy. Hundreds of thousands of people have been crushed by the shadow once they went inside of it. As the raising of the sun makes the shadow shorter and thinner until eventually the shadow is too small to sustain life. After the sun passes the zenith and drops down far enough to shine fully on that side there won't even be a trace of the blood left.

*Minos liiks at the raising sun*

KL-Hmmm...you don't have much time. It ought to be a remarkable show.

*Corrupt wanders out toward the lawn, apparently looking for the MIA pizza. She notices the situation going on by the obelisk and dashes off hurriedly.*

*Moments later, she returns, and sits on the lawn munching .*

Ooh, this won't be pretty... *munch munch*

*The Krylma Leader shakes his head*

KL-No, no it won't! Quite grisly, I expect. Time and tide waits for no man, after all. Or for gnomon, in this case.

*starts shuffling through a drawer in the box until she finds a piece of material assembled in red and white panels*

*begins marrying the panels to the spikes of her burnt-out umbrella*

hm. this is a conundrum.

*Begins application of battery powered masonry drill to the obelisk itself*

*Minos watches Redfox begin attempting to drill*

KL-I think you'll need something much sharper or faster to drill it than that. If the people of Sha'Du cut that thing themselves, then that particular secret of stone cutting has been lost to the ages. No, I think you'd be better off figuring out some other solution. A very large shadow cast over the obelisk might help.

*He checks his watch*

KL-I'd call for my flagship, The Draco, to swoop by overhead. That *might* be a big enough shadow...perhaps. Though it'd only be enough to scrape by. ...either way, though, The Draco is busy at the moment. And I don't have any other flagships at my disposal.

*the vendor completes umbrella repairs, opening and shutting it a few times to test its integrity*


the actual dimensions of the obelisk were never specified...


*the vendor now applies harkonnen power to rise higher into the air, alongside the obelisk and at an angle calculated to intersect the light from the sun over where the lawyer is crouching*

If we can't do big we can do precision. Lawyer, if you can get into my penumbra then move due south I believe I can move and cover you until you're free of the bad shadow. Unless the obelisk does something unexpected. In that case I will take measures to save my own life and business first. I hope you understand this is nothing personal.

[Ray Remark approaches; his blue trench coat is open, revealing a white T-shirt with "Time Paradox" in large friendly letters, and black jeans. He is careful to avoid entering the shadow.]

[Ray] What, no horrifying consequences just from trying to damage it?

*The Krylma Leader watches the vendor's aerial attempt*

KL-Hmm. Interesting approach...I'm not personally convinced your shadow will be complete or dark enough to block out the effect of the Obelisk's shadow, but if you're willing to try it, it might work.

*stops using the drill and instead uses metaphor*

Wait, so I'm stuck in shadows? Or just the shadow of the obelisk?

Because... I've always lived... in my father's shadow.

[Ray] [sounding like he's more interested in the proceedings than in actually helping Redfox out] What happens if someone tries to, y'know, push him out of there with magic or psychokinesis? Or teleporting?

*overshadowing Redfox*

*Minos turns to Ray*

KL-Then your telekinetics or teleportation would probably crush him. Hmm...and while the vendor is casting a shadow at Redfox, he does still appear to be in the Obelisk's shadow as well. Interesting conundrum.

[Ray looks like he's tempted to try anyway for a moment, and then shrugs.] Mmmm ... nah.

I grow bored.

*the vendor gives up on his attempt to help the lawyer, and floats back to the ground, carefully avoiding the obelisk's shadow*

KL-That's a shame. It was worth a shot, though the lawyer seems to be unconcerned about his impending fate.

Ah.

*Attempts to walk out while "living in his father's shadow"*

Apparently no one is available to determine my success.

So, I succeeded!

[Ray applauds in a somewhat patronizing manner.]