h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Of the most infuriating things recently invented, the pocket laser pointer has to be in the top ten! The insidious red dot is bound to appear, flitting from forehead to forehead (or any other body part currently of interest to the person holding the pointer.) Asside from the fact that there is marginal risk of cataracts and momentary state of blindness caused by direct contact with the eyes, there is the panic inspiring image of Rambo style laser gunsights just before the explosive impact of a sniper bullet.

I have decided that the cure for the abuse of this device is to provide 'victims' with small laser guided micro missiles that will follow the insidious beam back to the owner and detonate on contact. Rather than causing physical harm, I would prefer that it dye the target a particularly unpleasant purple color for about a week.

Most of the time, I am tempted to find the owner and insert the offending device into a location where light does not noramlly shine.

whilst i agree with the hatered you have
with these awful PLPs...
i dont agree with your use of the colour PURPLE
this is actually a very popular colour and i think
a better hideous colour would be a BROWN (like dog ****)
interested in your reply
SLARTI

Laser pointers became especially popular at raves. At one point you couldn't walk into a club without looking like you've got measles. They were shining from everywhere!

I think these things are great toys. It's hilarous to watch our cat or dog chase the little red dot.

One thing to remember is that the dot looks just the same as a laser designator for a firearm. A while back there was some concern in the american police community about people playing with these things. If an officer is approaching a car on a pull-over, and he notices a red dot on his chest, what should he do? Shoot into the car? Order everyone out of the car at gun point?

I have a friend who noticed one of these red dots on his chest. He was going to shoot the person, but another officer crossed in front of him before he could pull the trigger.

Thats true. they make great cat toys!

Personally I´d like to bring one if I am ever to meet George Bush. I just want to see all those big heavy bodyguards throw themselves onto him

I find them particularly useful in noisy pubs, as a visual aid to show the barman what you're trying to order. Once I was in a pub with a choice of 150 whiskies on the shelving behind the bar, and in a noisy room it's difficult to differentiate "Glenfarclas 105" from many other similar-sounding Whiskies without the aid of the ubiquitous red dot...

I like those little gadgets although I was annoyed to be stopped by the police saying their illegal, i showed it to him and he took the batteries out and walked away, anyway the point i want to make is their fine as long as you dont pretend your pointing a gun at them.

"Had some fun with them in go-go bars, never point them at the eyes."

The Secret Service Agents are just normal sized people. Maybe a littel more fit than normal, but they're nothing exotic.

The four or 5 agents around George would jump on him, but the ten in the crowd would be shooting YOU. Nice idea, though...