h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Munchkin and Mort, this is lagerism at its worst, and if you don't stop it right now, I'm going to organise a pressure group called Fat ******** Against Lagerism (FABAL) and get Billy Bragg to write a protest song.

It's bad enough that the pubs here only serve drinks for minority interests without you two extending this vilification to other threads. We, the pi**nic majority, had to put up with three tennis smileys for over a year before the PTB decided to recognise the existence of , and your attitudes are prolonging this similar unwarranted discrimination against those who prefer their alcohol not to taste like it was made from sweaty fishermens' socks.

*wanders off muttering about the drink Nazis wanting him to wear a yellow and red Tennents badge soon*

*gets hit on the back of the head by something, removes the dog turd and reads "Turn me over and wear me"....*

I've just received this message together with instructions to pass it on.

"We the Provisional FABAL have kidnapped Jamie and enclose his beard as proof of this. If you do not give equal rights to lager drinkers before midnight we shall also remove the hair on his face."

Downs a quickly.

Pours a for Jamie and a BonnieHaven Best for his beard.

I would complain about you being the person who always gets to the bar just before me on a Saturday and orders , but as I can't order Pernod, Buckie or Lager in here anyway, it doesn't matter.

Ah Jamie . How are you old chap? Last I heard you were locked in a pub cellar and chained to a keg of Stella.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

Here's some Savlon, I errr... think you may be feeling itchy very soon

You seem to have scared the hair clean off him there.

Will we be getting an ear through the post ?

Hang on and I'll ask

....

....



The ProvoFABAL say that he didn't have any when they pulled him free from the park railings and that hungry mongrel definitely did not eat them because they weren't there, but if you want to send some stamps they might post them once nature takes its course, tho you'll have to write your own envelopes.

Oh yes and they also have an interesting line in ear replacement surgery jokes which I cannot possibly repeat on the BBC

Pardon?

ia

Oh look someone has hijacked my name but hasn't used the FABAL secret signature handshake

just to let you know guys, I am still lurking... LOL ok, jk... yepyep.

Who was that?

*out of lurkitude*

Boo! Me, off course.

"Munchkin and Mort, this is lagerism at its worst, and if you don't stop it right now, I'm going to organise a pressure group called Fat ******** Against Lagerism (FABAL) and get Billy Bragg to write a protest song."

Billy Bragg? Bring him on ....we can take it!

I am innocent of all charges as (depending on the particular charge) I was either :-

a) asleep with a hangover
b) in the pub
c) both a and b

I refer Ms Eva Braun Rechargeable to post 47 and can see the line her defence will take at the Edinburg Bevvy Crimes Tribunal.

Oh

Not the E.B.C.T.?

OK OK Having my botty collapse every couple of hours must be making me as soft as the toilet roll I'm having to use - Johnson's Baby Wipes in case you were interested.

Sending someone to Edinburgh to face trial is a bit like starting to punish them before they've been found guilty, I'll settle for you and Munchieboos dressing as Marilyn Manson's babes in mObscene as pennance at the next meet,