h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*henchman snaps to attention*

Oh, my mistake; that should have been 30 Cal HV rounds, ie: AA rounds. We try to keep the health insurance costs low for the employees, and DU is definitely a liability.

*signs photographs and drops them on counter*

*takes photographs and places them in the file marked ARIES*

Thank you Aries - a pleasure doing business with you. I trust the merchandise will live up to your expectations ..... please don't forget that the Tasp must be returned in three months.

*turns to the Random Mayhem Inc representative*

I think we have the order now sorted for you. To recap you have requested the following items.

1 x 15 kilotonne tactical nuke in it's own presentation box. We will throw in the gift wrapping for free given the size of this consignment.

48 X standard issue 9 mm sub-machine guns.

24 x side-loading .50 cal capable silver plated submachine guns ..... I trust sir is not worried about the inscription "To Uday with love from Dad" on the stock ?

2 x flatbed trucks with bullet-proof cockpits.

50 x FN P90 PDWs, retrofitted for 30 cal rounds with the special ammunition option per Sirs earlier instructions.

The 1 x SCUD launcher is on a back order as previously advised as it is a discontinued line and we offer an FSU SS20 at full list price in lieu should Sir change his mind at any time.

Normal S.T.U.M.P.E.D warranty and payment terms apply of course. Sign here.

*offers NYC a black pen with black ink to sign a black paper contract with black text*

The consignment can be collected from our "large item" counter at the rear of this building.

*takes order and leaves*

*The henchman takes the black pen and signs with the black ink on the black line on the black paper, and sticks it into a black envelope with STUMPED's black insignia, and hands it back to Darth Curvaceous. He calls up on his cell phone, and noises can be heard on the loading bay*

*posts a letter to Random Mayhem Inc informing them that the SCUD launcher is now in and the order is ready for collection*