h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Maybe some of you remember hearing that in December the squirrels in Boston Common kept chewing through the electric lines that supplid power to the lights on the trees.

I happened to be in Boston Common yesterday, so I did my part by scolding every squirrel I saw.

Paul, how did the squirrels respond?

Thanks

The squirrels looked cute and hopeful.

I don't think they felt any shame at all.

Not that I expected them to. I just thought *someone* ought to scold them.

bloody hell a load of squirrels stopping back for detention aw nuts!!

My uncle, the chimney sweep, found a squirrel that had bitten a power cable. He claims he's never had a better chimney brush

How did a power cable get inside a chimney?

I wonder if the squirrels are longing to be video recorded and put on YouTube and they will do anything to make themselves famous. They all must be related to Sydney, the cold weather seer.

Perhaps the squirrel dragged it in so as to have some privacy while it gnawed on the cable?

Wouldn't want any of the other squirrels getting wise.

I think your analysis of squirrel psychology is spot on! Squirrels like to hide things from other squirrels and deceive them any time they can.

Nah, my uncle just found it lying dead somewhere, but the high voltage had made it quite - er - fluffy - and the frost had preserved that condition

Commanding the frogs to silence can also be heartening.

If they're chirruping, simply say to them firmly, "Silence!"

or just getting close to them. Frogs don't mind giving away their location to frogs of the opposite gender, but letting predators get close is another matter.

That's why they clam up when inveighed to silence.

They may know how to croak, but they know when not to.

Meanwhile, on squirrels they've often scolded me, or simply given me a dirty look if they thought I was getting too close to their action.

Being scolded by squirrels doesn't bother me.

I've always felt a little hurt they didn't trust me enough to quietly ignore me and go on about whatever it is they're doing.

All the more startling when they do.

Once I made camp with my head at the base of a pine tree on the north rim of the grand canyon and woke the following morning when something jumped on my face, which was inside my sleeping bag.

Whatever it was, I didn't see it and went back to sleep.

Then it happened again.

The third time, I finally got a look at the creature, a grey squirrel running up the tree.

I don't suppose that squirrel had ever seen a human being before.

Moral of story: Don't sleep so close to a big pine tree that squirrels are likely to be using as their own personal highway.

Yup.