h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's bound to happen: a big movie dramatizing the events that brought Arborvilla trees from a tiny, remote island to the rest of the world. Uncle Floyd would happily play himself, but the pace of filming would slow down as he tried to spin yarns of his adventures to every member of the film crew and all the thousands of extras we would need.

I wanted to play myself, but my screen test can be summed up as "Can't act, can't dance, can't even throw a canoli with any accuracy." I replied that the story calls for no dancing, but they assured me that some would need to be added to appeal to the teens. I offered to sing, but they said I sang too well. Tone-deaf viewers are an important bloc of moviegoers. basically, I was not the right type to portray myself....

So, here are some of the stars we would like to have playing the main roles. We are leaving blanks for those of you who can think of other stars who should be considered:

Owen Bahama:

--Tommy Lee Jones
--Simon Jones
--Ed Harris
--Elmer Fudd
--other___________


Uncle Floyd:

--Christopher Plummer
--Michael Caine
--Michael Gambon
--John Cleese
--Chris Cooper
--other_________

Aunt Horrifia:

--Maggie Smith
--Meryl Streep
--Betty White
--Joan Plowright
--Lily Tomlin
--Other___________

Ulysses:

--Martin Freeman
--Sam Rockwell
--Chris O'Dowd
--Bradley Cooper
--other__________

Andrea Doria:

--Queen Latifa
--Halle Berry
--Viola Davis
--other___________________

Penny:

--Scarlett Johansson
--Anne Hathaway
--Tina Fey
--other___________

Owen's son:

--Benedict Cumberbatch
--Chris Pine
--Anton Yelchin
--Guy who played Tommy in "Third rock from the sun"
--Other_________________

Voice of the Oracle Tree:

--Morgan Freeman
--Jamie Foxx
--Christopher Waltz
--Simon Pegg
--other__________

Mal Fung Shin:

--Cheong from "Hangover"
--Jackie Chan
--Other

The One Tree:

--General Sherman, CGI image

Is James Earl Jones still alive? He'd be good for the voice of the tree

Scarlet and Halle, when's it out!

Michael Gambon is an excellent choice, but I would prefer Maggie Smith in a bigger role. Shame to waste her enormous talent for a such a small part

Sadly, there are not a lot of big roles for women in the story. Andrea Doria is the biggest one.

Here are some of my ideas for the cast of the "Lost Isle of Arborvilla" movie

Owen Bahama Alan Rickman
Uncle Floyd Peter Capaldi
Andrea Doria Helen Boham Carter
Penny Cate Blanchett
Voice of Oracle Tree Sir Ian McKellen

Those are good choices, Thinker.

Thank you Paul

Now it's your job to talk them into accepting the roles, and getting a script written, and a director and producers.

Just kidding!

We'll look into it as soon as you have sold the rights

I'm too busy with other projects now.