h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 26

"Apres moi le deluge," Aunt Horrifia said with a smile, "C'est comme ci, comme ca."

"She really doesn't know what she's saying, does she?" I whispered to Penny.

"I give her credit for making the most of what she's got. Besides, the few phrases she knows accidentally turn out to be the right ones if she uses them enough times. But, yeah, when you hear her switch between 'L'etat c'est moi' and the lyrics for the Marseillaise, you *know* she has no clue," Penny replied, cutting off more cake for the autograph-seekers who had arrived by now. "You don't know how lucky you are that Uncle Floyd still has all his faculties."

"He has a few extra faculties that don't deserve tenure," I said crossly.

We were interrupted by the arrival of another interested party at the other side of the square: Pete Surreal, his wife, and a crowd of factory workers armed with pizza cutters. It had taken very little time for them to spot us. We did not expect an amicable reunion once they got to us.

"We need to leave," I told Penny, "though we're running out of safe destinations."

"There's one more place, though it's the last resort," Uncle Floyd rasped. "Just press all the buttons at the same time. It's the wild card option."

When he saw the puzzled look on my face, he added, "This is highly advanced technology. It can read your mind and choose someplace that your pursuers would never think to look for in a million years."

So we returned to the ship, along with Penny and Aunt Horrifia -- Penny begged to go to the exotic locations she presumed we were headed to, and Aunt Horrifia needed a guardian -- and I pressed all the buttons at once, after which I closed my eyes as tight as I could. Who knew what kind of place my subconscious had picked out for us?

[Early reading]

Good one, Amy

And paulh, of course. I hope you are enjoying your Thanksgiving, mate

I am looking forward to find out the new destination for our intrepid travellers.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving