h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 15

As Andrea Doria's helicopter grew dim in the distant sky, Mal Fung Shin stepped forward with a pair of headphones.

"What are these for?" I wondered.

"Put them on and listen to what the tree is saying," he said. "Your uncle's team of scientists spent years developing it. We thought that this tree might be the key to getting onto the island." When I still looked puzzled, he went on: "Twenty-five years ago, we were on this ship in this location, looking at the island through the highest-powered binoculars we could find. It was obvious that the green spire in the center was not a classic volcanic come."

"What was it then?" I was getting interested now.

"An immense tree, probably ten thousand years old. Oh, the island *had* been volcanic at one time, but we think the top blew off and the tree grew where it had been. We also think that the volcano brought up some radioactive material that caused major mutations in the tree. Even from this distance, we can measure the tree's electrical field, something that should not be happening despite its great size. Plus, no ordinary tree could grow *that* big in ten millennia. Plus, we thought there were patterns in the radio waves the tree was giving off. We think our tree -- what we call the Oracle Tree -- is the offspring of the tree on that island. About a year ago, our team cracked the code and designed the headphones you have, and an intake module -- he pointed to a quarter-sized metal disc tied to the tree's trunk -- so your responses can be translated into a code that the tree can understand. Andrea Doria befriended the tree, and she told it that you were her successor whenever she had to leave."

I suddenly heard a voice in my headphones, a voice that sounded like branches rustling in the wind.

"You aren't my first choice, but you'll do," it said.

"Sadly enough, that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me," I replied, speaking clearly into the disc on the tree.

"Captain Doria told me that you are new to this, and that you probably think this whole process is crazy," it continued. "Don't worry, communication between animals and plants is neither radical nor new. Bees and flowering plants have been conversing through electrical waves for millions of years, though not on this level."

"Is there anything I can do to repay your friendship?" I asked, grateful to be part of this strange new process but worried that I might inadvertently screw it up and set the world back by a decade or more.

"The most important thing I ask of you is that you promise not to cut my brothers down with axes and saws. Oh, a little pruning away of dead wood is okay when it's good for our health, but you humans ruin irreplaceable rain forests, waste precious wood for making paper, and use wood for building when there are much better materials to work with."

I covered up the tree's intake disc and asked Mal how the Oracle Tree knew that humans were doing all these things to trees.

"That's the thing about reading radio waves," Mal replied. "This tree can decipher signals from communications satellites. True, it may miss a lot, but it understood the news services when they were talking about wood products.

I was getting more and more impressed. "This is a *remarkable* tree," I said.

I bet the pine cones of the big tree are large enough for people to use

F S

They certainly are, as my readers will find out in days to come.

Highly evolved trees might wish for peaceful coexistence with humans.

>>large enough for people to use<< as what?

I have a feeling that our hero's uncle is still alive.

">>large enough for people to use<< as what?" [TC]

Probably to use as houses, as they are house-shaped.

[Amy P]

Thank you, brave readers, for keeping up with my long-winded story. I do have an appropriate ending in mind now. It'll be pretty daffy, but you probably expected that, right?

I believe I speak for all of us when I say that is exactly what we expect and why we follow

But along the way there will be some breathtaking illuminations of the world of ideas, particularly science concepts. I have been wanting to break new ground in the way that trees and humans *might* learn to respect each other and move forward together. We chop down forests to make paper, even though there are more-productive and cost-effective plants that could be used -- mostly in he grass family. We chop down trees to burn for heat in the winter, and there are plants in the grass family that would do a better job at that as well. Trees retain an enormous amount of water, which explains why heavy periods of rain rarely flood forests. The tree roots soak much of it up. Other plants soak up water, too, but trees are amazingly good at it. Cities [Philadelphia, for instance] that have experimented with widespread planting have found that their storm drains don't get pummeled quite as readily. Trees act as a huge reservoir of carbon that is kept out of the atmosphere.

There are huge numbers of things we will hopefully learn about trees in the next few decades. Prepare to be astonished!

I always knew you were a fellow tree hugging softie peacenik, paulh, keep it up!