h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Help me! I'm going to die" Paulh screamed as he dangled precariously from the lip of a deep chasm that had opened up under his feet when he went to see what was in his mailbox.

"You are not going to die, Senor," the Cloak of Magic Realism said in a voice that sounded like Antonio Banderas in Disney's 'Puss in Boots.' "The author has 27 episodes to go, and he needs his main character to stay alive or he has no story.".

"But my grip is weakening, and my wife refuses to rescue me," Paulh retorted.

"You may choose a different wife for this episode, Senor."

"Fine! I choose Mary Hartman."

"Where are you, Paulh?" Mary called from inside the house. "Your breakfast is ready, and then I need to get rid of the waxy yellow buildup on the kitchen floor." She poked her head out of the door. "I'll need to do laundry, too. That cloak you're wearing is filthy!" She seized the cloak of Magic Realism from his shoulders.

The chasm vanished. Paulh found himself lying on his front walk. The cloak lay on the porch, but Mary Hartman was nowhere in sight. Paulh grabbed the cloak and hurried inside. Mary reappeared as soon as he put the cloak on. She was watching television coverage of the devastation from Hurricane Sandy in new York City. "Those poor people," she said. "I must cook 250,000 hot meals and take them
there immediately!"

"Any idea how we can get to New York?" Paulh asked the cloak.

"Just open the bathroom door," the cloak replied. "There's a portal that will take you to the front steps of the New York Public Library."

Mary loaded up some hot meals and followed Paulh into the bathroom, where the full extent of new York's devastation was revealed to be much worse than either of them had imagined. The hurricane had unleashed a bitter arctic storm like the one in "The Day After Tomorrow." Refugees huddled in the NYPL burning books to stay warm. A Russian ship was frozen in the ice in front of the library.

Paulh boarded the ship to see if there was anyone he could rescue. Just then, a pack of wolves came running after him.....

The library bit was the best.

[Amy P]

I'm obviously channeling Jake Gyllenhaal's character uin "The Day After Tomorrow." He gets chased by wolves that have escaped from the Central Park Zoo. Why they would head for a Russian boat in front of the New York Public Library never gets explained.

I'm just glad your ok from the recent events on your east coast

I think from his dreams he still is in psychic schock from it,though.

I'm glad I'm okay, too,prof.

My dreams are more like schlock than schock, Elektra.

Paul I love the Perils of Paulh journals, they would make a great story.

I'm just goofing around with them, Thinker. What fun it will be to come up with a wife for Thanksgiving Day. Maybe Mrs. Perkin from "The Peterkin Papers?" There was a Thanksgiving story involving her. The dinner was loaded onto the dumbwaiter, which broke down. She had to ask the wise Lady from Philadelphia how to solve the problem.

Paul I have read a few short excerpts from the "The Peterkin Papers" and it is in a very similar style to some of the lesser known Charles Dickens short stories which I took from the library a few years ago.

That's the right period. The Peterkin Papers were written in the first half of the 19th century. Reading between the lines, I think the wise "lady from Philafelphia" was based on Lucretia Mott
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucretia_Mott