h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He may have made her eat all the biscuits first...Could have been what killed her and he was innocent all along...

Woohoo! Go bean!

Way to go, Bean!!!

Tanx but I must decline the booze and enquire as to whether the cake contains egg..
But I'm happy' despite the 2000 RMB for the ring, and the prospect of Chinese lawyers bills at 250 RMB a session.

Ahhh, so it was the biscuits that severed her head....

What's with the lawyers' bills? You have to have a solicitor to get engaged there? Or is it a pre-nup?

So if you're getting wed, are you staying out there? And what's your lady's name? And when's the date (and all those great girly questions that she would answer and you'll go "what?" to)

There is the small matter of my (considered)ex,but still legal "partner" in the U.K.
The date depends on:-
D.I.V.O.R.C.E.,
Getting her elder sister married, ( I kid you not).
Her names Helen and I love her, (very so far), dearly.
I want to stay over here, she wants to travel, ( within China), and "what?"

Fantastic!

Yes, I understand about the elder sister bit...hopefully she has someone in mind - or you are in trouble!

How far are you on towards the decree stage with your ex? I finally got my absolute in November and after all the pain and angst, I just went 'ok' and lost the bit of paper. Really didn't give a pair of fetid dingo's kidneys, which was a relief in itself.

Lovely to hear that you are so happy! Many many congrats. And if you hadn't gone out there....!!! Wow!

Trouble? I've just found out I may be a father again, ( By proxy of course).
Confused?
I haven't started the U.K. Divorce bit as I don't want to force my ex wife to sell the house, as she couldn't afford one big enough for the kids as well.
The money would set me up nicely in China tho'...
DIY divorce seems in order.

Yes I'm confused! How can you be a father by proxy? The mind boggles (and possibly other organs have been boggling somewhere too...)

Is your immorata single? Is your ex amenable to divorce?

By proxy:-
The first mention of a son came after the engagement ring.

Fiancee says she's single, but I haven't seen the divorce papers, ( nor could I read them if I did see them, (yet)).
Ex husband get custody apparently by bribing the police,(?).
He now has a younger son of 3 and may be amenable..., ( I just say "Yes dear", but dread son being a "Little Emperor").
She also wants to adopt a daughter, ( don't know if I'll get taxed for exceeding the "One child policy"
As to ex wife giving consent, F**k knows!

Hmmm. News of son came after engagement ring. Not good! Maybe a good idea to plan a long engagement (I'm having one of those and it's wonderful!). Then all the stuff in relevant woodwork can get itself sorted peacefully.

Certainly the legal system in China can be a little challenging (she says tactfully). The main thing, though, is are you happy? Looks like it. Hope so!

Very happy, but can't get her to move in with me.
Nothing else has come out of the woodwork, about from her lack of a concept of punctuallity, ( as in most Chinese, right?), and certain obsessions with Hygene, ( she is a nurse).
She even gave me my 1st Hep B injection,( never even considered the possible problem from dentists before I came here).
been out of circulation due to changing jobs, moving, ( the 2 will usually go together), aand a painful problem, lovingly ministered to by fiancee, ( enormous boil on me b**).
Now having to go to an Internet bar, ( 18p an hour), but it gets crowded after 6.
Some problems since the War with sites being blocked, so if I don't reply...

Very happy, but can't get her to move in with me.
Nothing else has come out of the woodwork, about from her lack of a concept of punctuallity, ( as in most Chinese, right?), and certain obsessions with Hygene, ( she is a nurse).
She even gave me my 1st Hep B injection,( never even considered the possible problem from dentists before I came here).
been out of circulation due to changing jobs, moving, ( the 2 will usually go together), aand a painful problem, lovingly ministered to by fiancee, ( enormous boil on me b**).
Now having to go to an Internet bar, ( 18p an hour), but it gets crowded after 6.
Some problems since the War with sites being blocked, so if I don't reply...

Oh you're back! I've missed talking to you!

Delighted all is well (even if you are squeaky clean in all your orifices - or is it orifi? ).

Boil on the b** eh? Releasing old anger (nods her head wisely and then and ducks!

yes, there was a lot of old anger, but also the dose of food poisoning weakened me a lot.
But why should my anger some out in such a delicate place? ( It still hurts a bit!(

I dunno! But it's one of those old wives' tales that seems to be true. A few years after my Dad left my Mum she got this awful boil on her back which, eventually, had to be cut out.

But the difference in her once it had gone was amazing - not just the relief that the pain had gone but more than that. She seemed to have got over Dad's going.

Sorry it's still sore...

But glad that life seems good! Is your lady a vegetarian?