h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I say! Whats happening here in this delightful place.
looks like my cup of tea to spend an afternoon or two. I am in fine health, the weather is gorgeous and there is a long supply of beverages. Reminds me of my afternoonp picnics at Cambridge. Daddy went there you see. What business is your father in? Property? i thought so. Not meaning to sound negative but i would verge to say that it looks a trifle on the quiet side today wouldn't you say my dear chap? Well? speak up chum, i don't have all day. oh dash it and blast. i've just been speaking to a rather lifelike tree, i do apologise sir. Jeeves! Be a sterling fellow and bring me some more Daiquiri would you.

*looking up from under her large straw sunhat, TC is lying on a lounger, being attended to by a punka-walla*

Oh hello! I say how lovely. Erklehammerdrat - that is such an exotic name. Come over here in the shade. Jeeves! Pimms for me please - you know how I like them!

So Erklehammerdrat do tell me about how you got your name and how clever you are - I do like clever fellows.

Er - you are a chap, aren't you? Sorry about the tree - I even find myself talking to them for company sometimes.

Would you scratch my back please - Ooooh yes - just there. Thank you.

Ah - here's Jeeves.

i do apologise my lady for being late
well first things first, lets not jump the gun before we even know each other.
so are you in good health? and your family? and the weather is fine wouldn't you say?
now then, formalities aside i wouldn't say i'm clever i just like talking about clever stuff. big difference, because once someone asks me to put an example or a theory to my argument, i'm absolutely befuddled. Bristol isn't exactly Cambridge (daddy went there) but its a start.
yes my name comes from one of those delightful Yassaccan guards in Terry Jones novel Starship titanic (based on Dougla Adam's idea) i would highly recommend it for its humour although not as bizzare as adam's but alot more naughty...
now i do pride myself on my backscratching skills......further up?