h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Ferry Owner] You want to go to TARSIS?? But haven't you heard about the sea monster there??

Sea monster?

[Pooch] I'm not afraid of sea monsters.

* Pooch belches some thick black smoke into the air *

[Pooch] Pardon me.

Ooh, a sea monster! The big long wiggly kind or the kind that nobody can prove exists? No, wait, that's a lake monster. Oh, whatever. This sounds fun. Does it like cheese sandwiches?

-Twinkle

You /did/ read the Ghastly Madman's take on this adventure? He said there was a shark-like monster terrorizing Tarsis...

Yes, but who says Twinkle knows that ICly? Pooch certainly doesn't.


[Pooch] So what kind of monster is it, anyway? I'm not particularly worried about it sinking the boat, but some of my companions might be if they aren't hiding wings under all those clothes.

All right, all right. The message from Runa didn't say what the problem was. She just said get your rear over there.


[Ferry Master] I've heard tell that it is a horrific shark that smashes about half the ships that come near Tarsis! They're the only town on that island, so it's only a matter of time before they starve...

Right. I didn't know it IC.

Oh. Maybe we should do something about that then. I might be able to manage a flying spell, but it would only work for me. Um... what _should_ we do then? Take spare boats in case the first gets smashed?

* Pooch looks at Twinkle *

[Pooch] I guess I could carry you over, but there's no point if you can fly by yourself.

* he looks at the others *

[Pooch] Twinkle, do you know a shrinking spell? My mother tried to teach me one once, but since she wanted me to use it on a village full of giants I wasn't all that interested. Never did get the hang of it... but it would allow me to carry one of these great big oafs across the sea without need of a boat.

* he flaps his wings and grins a toothy dragonish grin *

[The Ferry Owner looks very relieved that he doesn't have to risk one of his boats]

Erm... No. I skipped that class. Sorry.
Maybe I could make the boat indestructible.

* Pooch shrugs, as far as a dragon can shrug anyway *

[Pooch] Well then good ferryman, it looks like we will be requiring a boat. I trust the price will be reasonable?

*Mainx scowls*

[Mainx] It had better be...

[Ferry Owner] Right, right. But it had better be back in one piece! The price will be 200 Gil. Is that low enough?

[1 Gil is equal to about 20 cents American]

[Pooch] Hmm...

* Pooch belches, and some gold coins fall out of his mouth onto the ground. He counts them *

[Pooch] Nope, I've not got enough. It's all very well being able to produce gold coins at will, but since they introduced a daily withdrawal limit on my bank account the ability has been abandoning me at the most inconvenient of moments.

Let's say that's 179 coins.

Let's say that's coins to the value of 179 Gil instead of 179 one-Gil coins, because not even Pooch could manage 179 coins in one belch. He is only six feet or so long, remember.

Er, yeah. Meant to say "179 GIL," not "COINS".

Oh, hang on...
*takes off his long floppy hat, digs around in it a bit, and pulls out a 50 Gil coin and some springy copper wire*
Um, will this cover it? The money, not the wire.
*puts wire back in hat*

* Pooch counts the coins he coughed up *

[Pooch] Looks like we have some surplus. Excellent.

* he counts out the requisite number of coins and holds them out to the ferryman *

[Pooch] And it'd better be a decent boat, mind. None of those leaky things.

* he blows out a big puff of black smoke to make his point *