h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A few things happened the last few days.

but. wanna just sort of for once... try... yeh... like 'keep it on target'... - focus, so gonna not happen. - OK, this short preample, then the actual,.... what one might call 'meat'. of this journal. as it was... err..

the not on target stuff.
bleh. no sleep. again, last night. got an hours nap this afternoon. running on pure pizza, beef, hydrocortisone and green lemon tea. seriously. and outsanity of course.
Sort of went to bed, circa 1 AM. bit after. still awake, early dawn chorus kicked in, about 3.30.
Got up, hunting down a pair of in the ear headphones. eventually found two pairs, threw one away, as they were knackered, luckily the other pair worked.

Discovered the danger of IPod at about 5.30 AM, when I got boared with what music I had, and so just bought a couple more albums ... way* too easy to do

got up quietly, so not to wake W, about 6.30.
when he appeared downstairs, by 8 I'd taken hydrocortisones, and already I think on my third cup of green and lemon tea; a new flavour I'm just mainlining so much right now!; bought twenty bags err, yesterday, and another forty today as we were out.

anhyow. felt crap all day due to no sleep. etc. William went home earlier, after helpning me do some cleaning and stuff, and getting a few essential food things; err, forty tea bags, butter, and, err, think that was about it actually.

so, to the actual 'meat' of the journal entry, hopefully with no more distractions.


____ _____ ____ ____ ___


yesterday. lots of energy

William was over.

went into town.

Went to Lush, to buy a few 'essentials'.


Lady/girl came up to us soon as we came in the shop;

I think we're regulars, and. not very regular regulars. Had a bit of a chat to her, about chemo, my hair, skin, nails, as one does, and female skinny fit jeans, and how they're the only thing to not be overly baggy on my ass. for which, of course, I had to demonstrate how my jeans were not baggy over my bottom. which, of course, she confirmed. William then hit me, for doing that quite right too (well, I say hit, I mean silly little tap of course, you know...

anyhow, started mentioning a few essential items I needed; dragon's egg, couldren melt, etc, the girl, ran off, to grab the dragon's eggs, screaming "Its the last one, hang on!"

so we got the few ones I know I wanted for sure, then did teh useual just pottering about the shelves, picking up and smelling everything new, and re-finding a few I've had beore which I got.

think we got up to about 5 or 6 bombs/bolistics, and the melts, then the girl, who'd been helping and chatting to us, and mainly laughing at all my apauling jokes and smutty remarks asked if we wanted anything else....

I menntioned, very tentatively a moisturiser I know they do; its so* expensive!but. my hands are so* bad

anyhow.
got to teh moisturiser, and they had one tub open so I tried it, and explained to her, how all teh chemo is ripping my hands to pieces, how teh constant washing is drying them, and ripping them to bits more, and the combination of that, plus neuropathy, and lack of coordination and concentration from chemo, means I'm constantly banging them, cutting them burning them etc...

she was... littel shocked by teh state of my hands I think they're... quite aweful (especially considering how good the rest of my skin is, thanks to all the other bath stuff I'm using etc!).

it was then... I sort of hesitated.... she said she thought I should get the cream... and so I said yes...

into the basket it went.

OK, W says, that's it? to which I say yes...
no sooner as I have said that, than the girl runs away.... with our basket, to the till we guess...

Takes a while to find her... she's sort of found a till right some distance away, and , just as we approch, is only just starting to put the things through the cash register...


Now, I know its somewhat store polacy, and the staff, there, have a certain degree of leeway. but. err. not like that....

anyhow. paid... thought that seemed a 'bit cheap'. then left the store, saying thanks to her, for helping us and she wished us goodluck etc...

Then.. outside... talking to W... we suddenly realised... hang on... that bag I'd just bought... and ... the amount I'd just paid... didn't... kinda add up at all...

we went outside John Lewis (kinda getting outside into fresh air, as the Lush is hidden in the arcade thing)
I was a bit light headed; the scent from Lush can do that and W had a cigarette, whilst I snaakily had a bit of snus.

Then we saw the note she'd written to me and W.... awww. and.... noticed that she'd yes, put the expensive hand-cream/moisturiser in, and it hadn't appeared on the bill/cash register strip... which ... nearly halfed the price of my day's bag of goodies

then. we were tied last night, and never got round to sorteing the bag out, properly on getting home- did that today.

err.

2 dragon's eggs, I'd only asked for one, and there was apparently* only one left... she threw one of them in too... knowing I like them.
And, an extra bath Bolistic that I really like. and, I think a Sex-bomb, which is one I'd mentioned and bought many times before, but had sort of decided not to get today... in teh bag, not on the items paid for...
And, a bubble bar (I think its called) and, I think some slithers of the really expensive hand-made soap, that I looked at weeks and weeks ago, and had basically decided was way too expensive...

err.
That has to be... like close to two times more free stuff, than I actually bought... but... its not taht... not the money and stuff, but the thought, and she'd picked stuff she knew I liked, and needed, and stuff... and, reallyl its not that, even... but the note she'd written awww.

That is a lovely tale.

I hope she doesn't get into trouble. I must try that place next time I'm in Cambridge.

That is truly sweet!

Faith in humanity restored

Its the kindest jesture, I think anyones ever done towards/to me. as its not a relative, partner, relation, friend, etc... if that makes s sense awww....

and, I just used some of the moisturiser. oh! My! BoB! my hands! my face! oh! well, it works as a good sales trick too... I can't not buy that again its so gorgeous
and if anyone wants a trip roun d the Lush store in Cambridge, I'm ready whenever! - mind, their new Oxford street massive one... that just sounds scarey the staff in the one in Cambridge are all sweet though... they're always so helpful

Dragon's egg bath bomb tonight... I think that is my new favorite bath bomb so many sound FX with it too
then the caregwins (sp?) couldren bath melt, natch of course.
my regular err, can't recall wat make it is no, coconut shampoo, then a coconut conditioner (yeh, I know; I've sod all hair and I'm spending a fotuene on this stuitt!)
then, err, just the moisturiser (dreamcream) after and drying my hair, to the lilting tunes and lyrics of a Black sabbath song about dieing. of course... as one does its good too... mix tings about a bit and I then did have a bit of Zappa to counterpoint the sabbath... something about a robot I think, and an evil prince

now its time for more tea... of course lemon green tea again

I'm celebrating with port and

but , don't tell anyone

You see, I'm not supposed to drink alcohol on a weekday, but in my defense I can't very well leave the till next weekend, because it might go off - and I wouldn't pay it due respect if I just ate it unaccompanied by a drop of port

That's my excuse anyway

actually. this week, in Cambridge is the beer festavil. and doubt I'll make it this year; too many people asides anything; just infection risk. and I've hardly touched a drop of booze in ages now... weeks, certainly so it seems kinda pointless to go along to a place that is, basically about vast amounts of beer, to only, like drink at most a pint or two

on teh positive point; not been out to teh pub in ages, and as the beer festavil is on, the pubs are often quieter whilst its going on; so may try an evening out with a friend, for a few half pints, just to 'feel' like I'm still living in the real world, and actually, ike go somewhere one evening
won't drink much though. really. not a good. idea. trust me. I did the experiment, and I know the answer now chemotherapy is kinda like a perminant hangover, in some respects; having a full on, not drunk in ages, hangover, o top of that; adding extra toxins to one's bloods, for the liver to process, in addition to the cytoctoxic agents, of chemo, is, as my experiment I think proved. really a bad idea - I had to do it though! it just had to be done! but I feel satisified that I have done it, proved my insanity, and discovered.... absolute pain from doing so... I wo't be repeating that trust me that...was... so upleset



but, a couple pints... maybe next week... or later this... maybe...
but, been.... feelig really like not drinking at all recently... most odd, trust me just the past .. . dunno, three weeks or so... just getting weaker... more tired... less strength... ad just so much more fed up....

so much of this, is just one foot in front of the other.

i think about tomorrow, and it fills with horror. but, not because I fear pain... sickness... any of that rubbish... its ... just... more of the same... tedious... if aything... just... tired... fatigue... painful slow, doing stuff, four thousand hand washes, ten thousand alcohol hand gel applications. endless steralisatio of the kitchen, before during and after, each tiny little thing I want/have to do. and so much concentration to do aseptic/sterile stuff constantly... ad, all with no sleep, for months. o rest. o ability to relax and read, because I do't have the concentration to do so...

but.. mainly just boring! hmmm... I miss blue cheese.... not allowed blue cheeses, unpasturised ones etc but... only for now... I hope...

I wish I could offer to save you a bit of this excellent as well as ecological Danish but it's too late for that, I'm afraid

The bottle of port is empty too, so I suppose it's time for me to head upstairs

BUT! Next time I get the chance I shall share both bread, and a nice tawny or ruby with you

<dr not had port in years! <wow< actually... not really drunk any spirits at all in ages... ad ages I really have moved more towards being a non drinker.... well, cept for and some sometimes -- a trip out to my local cheese shop, may be in order, once the chemo is over, I think some serious blues I think

Today was a good day. in an odd way. or at least oddly odd. way. way hey.

I slept last night. which is often a good thing. think I'd been awake maybe 45 or 46 hours by the time I got into bed last night, with just the one hour and a bit nap, sometime during theat long bit of being awake

Woke in total agony and pain.

cramp. muscle cramp. urgh. eveyhwere. back, neck head, arms, chest, ribs, abdomin. legs, hips. etc.

blanked taht all out, more of less, then got up

coffee then did loger's washing up so I could clean the kitchen.
washed up.
cleaned kitchen.
Steralised kitchen.
made food. err, I'd taken drugs before that like, ust the folic acid and hydrocortisone (still on double dose hydrocortistone, think its suiting me a lot more... probably oughta gell the doctors, I'm taking double)

sort of pottered a bit after that, tidying kitchen, cleaning kitchen, washing up, steralising, hand washing. etc., etc., pottering on PC etc.


pain. was... weird... bit worried it was focused round teh port, maybe infection... but, seemed fairly spread out, so I guess not... just sort of kept noticing it, if I wasn't consciously turning it into colours and shapes on my skin pretty ones, mainly

had more food, about 3 PM I think it was, scrambled eggs, and toast, then. after of course steralising kitchen.
then washed up, cleaned kitchen, steralised kitchen.

lots. and lots. and then some, tea


pottering on the internet.


Did chicken pies for dinner, with chips, and beans. not really the sort of thing I've eaten in like forever. it was... kinda nice. and I was so supprised I ate it all so much food.

didn't really get much nausea today. just bits... though a lot of abdominal pain earlier. that was. not nausea related at such

err... then pottered... washed up, clened kitchen, steralised, more tea, swept floor, tidied. etc.

Then got boared. hoovered the front room, did some bits of housework, tidied bedroom, fiddled about in wardrobe, reorganised a bit.

Then bathed.

Oh.
My.oh.yes.

First, of course, I clean then steralise teh bath

lots. and lots of hot hot hot water...

descisions.... so many choices.

I started with; the free bubble bar the loverly girl in the shop gave me
oo. bubbles!

sort of figured... that isn't heavily scented as such, though had some, and didn't seem overly oiled/moisturising....

so went for a bath bomb too.


the heart shaped one, with actual roses ; little rose buds inside it awww.
oh. yes. (and my rubber ducks now have little rose buds on their backs!)

oo. that got the water... more.... right... 'feeling'.

but.

yet.


ahh.

obviously.

One bath melt. the couldren again (the one with oats, and rose absolute and frankenscence and jasmine in it, and stuff).
Oh.

then. I got into the bath.

pain.? what pain? muscle aching? what muscle aching

an hour of so later... I got out of the bath awww.

just. so...

MMM. then had a phonecall with W, for half an hour, before I put on some music, and moistruised myself.

did my feet nails, and then moisturised with teh new moisturiser the girl from the shop gave me... oh...



Oh, and using teh pepermint moisturiser I still have some of left, on my feet... think I got that in Sweden, or perhaps Manchester... or... something... blimey... that's been hanging about a while now

and. now. of cours.e.... it must be time for a cup of tea

off into town tomorrow, with William, and meeting up with his daughter, for coffee/tea. I hope... (depends if I'm OK early in the morning or not... hopefully I will be)

Cool old Guy in a bird bath
"Should take an early bed then, still warm from the bath "

ahh.... words that mean differnt things should... could.... won't... daft stupid idiot who doesn't sleep... those kinds of words - stuff to do... tweets to tweet... MP3 albums to transfer to an IPod... and ... stuff and... of course... relaxed, and everything... but very much wide awake

Cool old Guy searching for the neutral
"Well I am dropping, birdy is restless but asleep.

Tweet all night long, the s will answer ."

actually tiring a bit now... just checking out some recipies, for a meal I might cook for W, at the weekend/friday and, must think about bed... actually soon... so I guess I oughta copy these files over I ment to move earlier, and then... I can kinda rest knowing I've done most of what I wanted to do today, plus a load more too then I might be able to sleep if only the frogs wouldn't be so loud