h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Couldn't you hook up some sort of Rube Goldberg device so that fainting bird (a) tugs a string (b) that sets off alarm (c) next to your head (MT)?

but would i not be passed out to<?>

Could it be a really loud alarm?

Or could the string pull a hammer that falls and auto dials "Poisonus Gases Hotline"?

But if the gas makes the canary pass out, wouldn't you be breathing the exact same air and pass out too?

Wouldn't it make much more sense to buy a gas detector?

Can you get them<?>

Shouldn't you ask the gas company about that?

The gas company?
Is that where the gas lives?

Would you be better off switching to electric cooktops and oil heat?

Can canaries warn about electricity and oil leaks<?>

Wouldn't that depend on where you put the canary?

Where would be best<?>

How about in the oven with some cloves of garlic?

Would he be safe there<?>

Would he be worth bothering to roast?

Would he be more than a mouthful?

Wouldn't that depend on whether he was to be eaten by an elephant or a worm?

Could the canary give prior warning of the return of nighthoover? Does rolf harris have a canary?
Can he tie his canary down sport?
Would his canary watch his walaby feed?
Would rolf's hunting dog chase the canary?
Or, would the cat that wouldn't come back eat the roasted canary?

Wouldn't his cat prefer roasted kangaroo<?>

Didn't Rolf once, after 16 cans of Tenants and a bottle of Tequila, attempt to paint his cat blue and then turn it into a rudimentary musical instrument, only to wake up the next morning with a kebab stuck to his cheek, watching horrified at the results of what he had done, and so, consequently, has spent years attempting, unsuccessfully, to atone for this act, with years of "Animal Hospital"?

Or was that someone else?

Could that explain everything<?>

Or could it explain nothing at all?