h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What if I have music on and don't hear<?>

Was that what I could hear last night<?>

Should you consider turning the music down, or maybe buying a doorbell<?>

What if you're stubbornly putting a crib together by yourself and it's literally on top of you when the phone rings?

would you not move to answer it<?>

Did the person not hang up on the answering machine before I could get out from under the crib, much less before I could get to the phone?

In the UK cannot you dial 1471 to obtain the number of the last person who called<?>

Does not that do me no good at all? Can't we do similar, though, and I never think of it?

Why do people not mind leaving messages on my mobile voicemail but never do on my home answering machine<?>

Why are the only messages I ever get on my mobile from confused old Irish ladies or people speaking in German<?>

Did I ever mention that someone at work has a similar phone number to meals on wheels and keeps getting calls asking where their food is<?>

Are you sure he's just not telling you something.......<?>

Have I been doing the wrong job all this time<?>

You mean you haven't been delivering meals<?>

Then what *have* you been doing<?>

Haven't I been been flicking rubber bands at the coffee machine and ignoring the phones<?>

Isn't that pretty much what I did on work experience<?>

Isn't it fun<?>

Was it not much more fun than flicking imaginary elastic bands at school<?>

Aren't imaginary ones quite expensive<?>

Are they not quite cheap, if obtained from the proper sources<?>

Where can you get them<?>