h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you would like to become an h2g2 Guardian Angel, please post your application to this thread. Sainting Ceremonies are held on a regular schedule, and will be on this thread, so keep your eye on it!

(WELCOME TO THE GROUP!!)

Present

We really must advertize this thread!

...here...

Is the new sainting going to be held here?

/sorry, so busy IRL that I havent had the time to learn new smileys. I can just make a/

nim the

PS. GB, I couldn't post to falern's thread. Please give me that candle link and thank you.

I'll post a copy here.

As you can tell from my user name i already aspire to join your ranks as the patron saint of dodgy 70's/80's kids TV programs. I believe i can bring many qualities to the community, of these i can't think of any currently..........
I think this is an under represented area at the moment and thus offer my services.

fabbers - never eat the yellow snow

*mutters*
You can't hear the funeral march, you can't hear the funeral march...
*Tweet reaches behind the bar and meticulously lines up several bottles of tequila along the counter*
*pulls several pints of Guiness, and puts them in a little cluster at the end of the bar*
*secretes a bottle of scotch in each pocket*
Right, I reckon I'm ready for the ceremony now...
*watches the silence fall over the assembled crowd*
*watches the panic fall over the prospective Saints as Tweet begins to shake gently*
*sighs*
Right, let's go...
*Tweet clicks her fingers and the golden sword flies into it*
*practices a swing or two*
*grins*
Hey, I could get used to this...
*sparklers flare up behind her, and a jazz band appears from nowhere, as Tweet hefts the sword. Vince drops his spoons.*
Evening everybody Welcome to tonight's ceremony, which promises to be nerve filled, but end with plenty of alcohol to make up...
Now, without further ado- The Okapi, would you please step forward?
*The Okapi steps in front of Tweet, not taking suspicious eyes off the golden sword*
*Tweet grins, and swings the sword round in a huge arc, leaving a golden trail in the air, as if she had swung one of the sparklers*
I dub you Patron Saint of Real Ale and Tradition.
*a pair of classic looking, Christmas card wings burst from the Okapi's back as a halo, that looks suspiciously as if it's morris dancing, encircles his head*
*As the Okapi steps back, Tweet prepares to call forth the next Saint*
Merdo the Grey, would you come forward?
*Once again, the sword flies through the air over Murdo's head*
I dub you Patron Saint of Fuzzy Thinking.
*as a pair of almost translucent wings unfurl from Murdo's back, a halo floats lazily onto his head- no-one can quite focus on it, as if they're concentration has been wiped away*
Now, Bassman
*Getting very confident by this point, Tweet swings the sword round in one hand and grins*
I dub you Patron Saint of Well Timed Entendre.
*A halo spirals round his head, as a pair of wings emerge from his back, which beat gently in time to the band*
And now, last but not least (although perhaps most controversial ). So Long and Thanks For All the Fish- this is your luck day.
*So Long approaches the bar, with a look of surprise crossing his face*
*Tweet grins*
*Taking the sword in hand, Tweet's confidence overflows...*
*She launches the sword into the air, and it swings in lazy circles over So Long's head, leaving golden spirals in the air*
*just before it slices So Long's ear clean off, Tweet catches the blade, and spins it round*
I dub you Patron Saint of...
*grins*
Everlasting Loyalty
*A halo fits itself round So Long's head (perhaps a little tighter than usual) as a beautiful pair of wings unfurl themselves from his back*
*Tweet chucks the blade into the air again and clicks her fingers*
*It disappears in a spray of gold sparks, followed by the sparklers, one by one*
*Tweet grins, hugs each of the new Saints, and breathes a sigh of relief*
*She turns, walks back to the bar and chugs from each of the bottles of tequila before falling on the pints*
*She looks up for a second and grins*
So, ceremonies really aren’t that stressful.
Drink, anyone?

*Kes rushes in, pushing a huge drinks trolley, completely out of breath*

Hhhhhhh.... AHhhhhhhh .... Ahhhhhhhhh h hh hhhhhhhhh hh
Phew! Why didn't somebody tell me where the ceremony was? You should see the traffic on the Heavenly Orbital Flyway at this time of the year!

Sorry everyone ... but better late than never! Congratulations to you all. Now I'm sure that Tweetie will have made sure there's plenty to drink .... but I wouldn't like us to run short so ...

*Wheels the trolley round, dispensing drinks ...*
Here you go ... Okapi ... and one for you Merdo (nice to see you here!)
Try one of these, Bassman - I think you'll like it
Try two of these So Long - I know you'll like them ...

*Gives Tweetie a pck on the cheek*
Nicely done, Tweetie! Extra large Scotch? ... just happen to have one handy ...
*Leans on the trolley and samples a PGGB*
Woohoo! Party time!

hello,
I got his far into the list(which seems to go all over the place!)
and I was wondering if I could be the patron saint to the insomniac truthseekers of this world?

Mainly because. :o)

I wanna smilie with a nose... Hey! maybe someone could do one whilst I ponder the logistics of their world late into the night...

Hi there punichicken ... There are never enough smilies, are there! Good to see that you're interested in becoming a GA (Guardian Angel), and helping out . At the moment, we're planning to hold the next "sainting" ceremony just before Christmas, so we could fit you in on that ... In the meantime, you have the chance to find out more about us. Ask us questions, if you have any. I suggest you take a look at article A466120 . This is still in draft form at the moment, but it's a light-hearted set of "Commandments" for GAs - setting out the sorts of things we aim to do. It will give you an idea of our activities. Drop a posting on my home page if you have any questions - always happy to talk.

...Present ... at last

Punichicken and fabbers, your requests have been noted and I am pleased to inform you that your ceremony will take place on Christmas Eve, by Santa himself

Ho ho ho.
Do I have to wear the Santa costume? ... and the padding?
Oh well, 'tis the season, I suppose

Yes
but only if I can sit on your knee and whisper in your ear what I want for Christmas

ho ho ho indeed!! WOW!! what a christmas present!

Hello oh saintly ones.

I'd rather like to be the Patron Saint of Pansies, or an Angel of Artistically Arranged Foliage.

Can you only be canonized, or can you make me angelic too? (Someone's got to do it.) I'm not sure I've a total handle on this.

R

Don't worry, Pink, we have plenty of Angels who will give you a helping hand, and there's usually a few Archangels floating around who don't bite
I think the Patron Saint of Artistically Arranged Foliage sounds wondeful
Are you likely to be online on Christmas Eve?
That's when the next ceremony is, but you don't have to attend, you will be informed of when it has taken place.
In the meantime, if you'd like to have a browse over the Commandments:
http://www.h2g2.com/A466120
You'll see what you're letting yourself in for!