h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In a clearing beyond the pine forest, where the river broadens and meanders into swampland, stands a rustic stone lodge built by elves. Behind the lodge, in the center of the clearing, is the Royal Aviary, the roost of many varieties of hunting and exotic birds. Small huts woven by the elves serve as nesting pens for the birds on the ground, and more small woven hutches are high on poles. A thorn thicket grows around the aviary, keeping predators from entering. Further down the river, crocodiles bask and nest along the riverbank, swimming and feeding in the luscious swampland.
The Reptile Keeper, known to have learned the properties and powers of herbs from the elves, lives in the lodge and tends the crocs and birds.

*enters the lodge*
Greetings once more, reptile keeper! This is a fine looking setup you have, and a mighty beautiful walk it is from the palace. The animals will be well pleased!

*quietly gathers herbs from the forest.*

*enters too*
So here you are, my King, I was searching for you everywhere...
*looks around*
Really nice lodge...

*A merry song can be heard coming from the forest, and it seems as if the trees themselves join in, whispering in their own language. The singer obviously is not very talented, but the song is old and powerful. The voice draws nearer, and eventually the forest breathes a green figure on the clearing. The Ranger stops singing.*

Oh my, someone's been busy... It's rather nice actually, even though I've never really been fond of swamps.

*He notices that the Royal Pair is present*

Oh! *bowing* My King; my Queen. I did not expect I had such high-ranking audience. I'm sorry if I have disturbed you with my unskilled performance. *He blushes slightly, sprouting red flowers among the vines that cover his face* The trees can't tell if I'm good or not, they just like the songs. Anyway, I'm glad that the animals here are well looked after, although I believe the birds would do just as fine in the forest. Then again, nothing stops them from flying back into the forest, does it? I take it that they like it here. I hope you're not overfeeding them, Ox.

I just dropped in to see how things were going, and do not fear Greenman, your song made up for any lack in tune by the power of it's sonorousness, and the beauty of it's words.

*bows to the King and Queen, and continues preparing an herbal blend of tea from spring water and morning flowers*
Sorry you have so little faith in my abilities, Greenman. I'd rather see the crocs properly tended than left on a playing field or parched in a forest...

*an iridescent, blue-green peacock strolls in front of the lodge, his large tail fanned out behind him*

heh heh...the birds are pairing off. I think they'll be nesting in the Aviary for a while.

I see the mage has been harvesting herbs. I wonder what he's cooking up in his Lab?

Oh! I'm sorry if I have offended you, Ox. But you must have misunderstood me. I did not mean to disapprove of what you've been doing, I just meant that tending swampland, at least the kind of swampland crocodiles live in, is not exactly my cup of tea (I'll have some of that flower tea, if it's okay). But I'll do my best.

Actually, Greenman, I'm glad you're here *carries a copper tray with teapot and two cups to a wooden tables on the shaded porch*
I'm used to swampier areas and don't mind being here at all. I respect all you preserve and stand for. I think we can have a great alliance...things are definately quiet around here now but we can lay some groundwork for later.

*listens to nothing*
Ahh...quiet...just the way I like it.......I'm off back to the castle, important golf to be played...

*sits at the table*
Heh, there must be something wrong with King Cthulhu's most royal ears, if he really thinks it's silent out here. Birds aren't exactly the quietest of animals, and even with no aviary nearby, the forest itself can hardly be described as "silent ".

*pops his head back around the corner*
There's nothing wrong with my royal ears, Greenman.......by silent I meant no noise......bird song is hardly noise........
*pops back out*

Ah, the sound of no sound! That's the beauty of this place. No whining air traffic, no pollution, plenty of fresh air. *in the distance, a croc basks on a mud bank, jaws open wide as a companion bird cleans the remains of a golf game from his teeth*
What's going on in the forest, then? Has anyone got an adventure in mind?
*pours more tea and opens a tin of biscotti*

*hearing the word adventure, she walks through the door, admiring the Lodge*
Forgive me for just dropping in suddenly.
It's hardly an adventure, but at the edge of the forest are the Gables Green, and I would be overjoyed if some would take some time out of their buisy schedule and come help me make them inhabitable! I've only just arrived here in Balwyniti, and I request that some of the loyal subjects teach their Lady how the flowers best grow and how the hamsters like to be treated and how to act towards the crocodiles, if it's not too much trouble.

*sips tea*
Mmm... Good...
*sips again*
*When Lady Anne enters, stands up and bows to her*
Most gracious Lady, I am glad you have found a place in the Kingdom. I am the Greenman, guardian of the forest. I have not yet visited the Gables Green, but it has a nice ring to it, and it is my duty as the Ranger to oversee any changes made in this land, so naturally I will help you in this matter. If milady would be so kind as to let me finish this cup of tea first, I would be most eager to have a look at these Gables of yours.

And if it's adventure you want, well, I've yet to discover all the secrets of this forest, and who knows what an adventurer might find?

Hello, Lady Anne *pours her a cup of herb tea and freshens Greenman's cup as well*
I'm up for an adventure of any sort. No need to worry about the crocs, they will also have the jump on anyone trying to have an adventure on us!
Hmmm...*tries to think of a quest, search, or hunt either in the forest or beyond*

Yes, tea is a good way to go on with a conversation, isn't it?
*she sips it, finds it too hot, and cools it down with a little milk*
Although I don't know what good I'll be to finding an adventure... Maybe one will find us!

*wanders by, and hears the word adventure*
Adventure, huh? There is no finer place for adventure than around these parts.....

And don't you dare leave your Queen behind if you're going to have an adventure!

Wouldn't dream of doing such a thing! So, where're we off to?