h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, I don't know Shirps.I think your aim is right on!

...*hands Gwennie a LARGE G & T to make it all better...*
...*hands Gwennie another LARGE G & T after wacking her upside the head with her brolly...*hmmm I've heard it's bad luck to open those things in doors.

I've gotta' go over to Italy (again) & try to patch things up between Angie
& Brad Pitt. Poor Clooney getting his Villa all ready for their up coming marriage & *I* get caught with Brad.
This world needs more locking doors! Or sumthin'.
Be right back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There, there, Gwennie. Perhaps it's because you weren't wearing a wet-n-tattered T-shirt that only the old and doddery came to your assistance! We who know know just how much inner beauty you radiate from within (without needing the visuals!)

*Recalls driving his son to school years back and coming across the damsel in distress trying to get the tyre out of her BMW 3-series' boot to change the flat one she had. As she was wearing a short flared skirt, she inadvertently displayed a shapely pair of legs all the way up to her pale blue T-back nickers. Immediately she found herself with no end of male helpers from students to commuting businessmen. Caused quite a traffic jam, it did!*

... leaps up & holds on to end of Pan's broom - swings it round ... Pan hanging precariously on the end ... faster & faster ... Pan flies off the end & hits the wall ending up on her head.

rubs paws together - that 2nd bowl of tanglepaws seems to have given me super strength

Strolls over to Gwennie - hands her bandage for her wounds & a large

pleased with her work

::listens to WR's tale, gets lost in a daydream and completely forgets all about his ::

Aw! Thanks Shirps!

*Gives Shirps an affectionate scratch behind the ears and tops up the bowl of Tanglepaws, retrieves the ice bucket and sinks her ankle in it*

WR's tale makes me wonder whether that girl with the short flared skirt was the same one who sported little white ankle socks at a petrol station and caused a similar commotion.

Inner beauty? Moi? I will remind my better half of that fact the next time he's complaining about my PMS!

My hubby still dribbles to himself over the well endowed young lady who lifted her t-shirt up for the cameras during the SA vs England cricket match a couple of years ago!

Pan! I had no idea that you could speak Hungarian! You really are woman of hidden talents!.

I used to have a pair of falsies with a flashing light located in each extremity and used to lend them to my ex-husband who seemed to enjoy dressing up as a woman with blue hair whilst wearing 'em.

::daydream is disturbed by images of blue-haired ladies with flash lights in their - er - extremities ::

Gwennie, no wonder he's your ex

I suppose this wretched short-skirted, ankle socked girl had bunches too! hair bunches I mean

Shakes ... just how do we get him out of this daydream? Can't imagine what he's thinking about

my sort don't have these problems, we just go round as nature intended all the time

...*on her head against the wall...* who yelled "Fetch"???
Shirps, if Angie & Brad don't marry, it'll be all YOUR fault!

Speaking of flat tires <--- American spelling I swear this to be true!!
I was with two girls out partyting when I was a teen & my tire went flat. As I got the jack out of the trunk one of the girls said, "If we jack up the car we can just
turn the tire around! See? It's only flat on the bottom!" true story~

You know Shirps, it's a good thing for you I'd never hit a - a man, sure, a NEVER~!!!
...might bite a
...like the one I was training that kept biting me ~ thinking aloud~! again...

...*pours a pouch filled of fire into Gwennie's ice bucket...*
Any knows it's ice first then heat.

::has disturbing daydreams of female drivers with flat bottoms::

, do you think someone ought to wake from his daydreams - really worried about the psychological effect they may be having on him

In English: 'tire' means 'wear out', hence 'tired' - worn out. So, therefore, if American cars are tired with American tires does that mean they are already worn out? English tyres last alot longer

Y'know Pan, I wouldn't try to bite me if I were you - "someone" has lent me a great set of teeth -

Yanks (ha!) Gwennie's foot out of bucket superfast - throws bucket over Pan - ah! my aim has improved

clapping paws

::wakes up from daydream , notices he is and decides to take a nap ::

... bites s arm & tugs ... superstrong teeth these are

Aw Pan! First and then !

I have a tooth sharpener should you care to borrow it Shirps.

madalert
I made some & elderflower wine many years ago. The added ingredient was quite accidental but the wee blighters managed to get into the fermenting bin even though the lid was firmly sealed. After all my hard work in making the must, I was too mean to lob it forth so carried on regardless and as things turned out, the seemed to improve the brew. Naturally I kept quiet about what had happened until after people had drunk the wine and then I let 'em know.

*Shoves a cushion shaped just like a pair of ladies wotsits under the sleeping 's head*

I'm sure Pierce will have sweet dreams now!

wha'??? can't hear a thing!!!

.. looks around ... everyone's ... WOOF! WOOF! ... breaks into howling ... wake up ... do you know today is the last day of September?

I blame Gwennie for all this

puzzling as to who will open up October

*Wakes up*

Huh? What? If someone's offering to buy drinks, mine's a pint - not an "arf".

mine's a

's is an arf and arf

Oooh! yes please ... of

What a way to end a month

Whoops, missed another month...

I don't think that you missed much Linus and it should rewind and replay in mere minutes.

*Thinks about starting a new thread but the smell of burning oven chips emanating from her oven has to take priority*

Where are a bunch of hunky firemen when a girl needs 'em?