h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Opens the quiet, tidy pub. Gets behind the deserted counter and taps an to drink while the rest of the usual mob of regulars find their way in from their Halloween party in another thread*

Hi WR!

*Shuffles in whilst at the same time attempting to remove her fancy dress mousetrap outfit and having given up on retrieving her mouse from the inside of Mari's cheesy bra*

I missed Halloween again and am in need of several large, fresh s...

Monday and another week threatens... I could join you in some heavy abuse, Gwennie...

I have recently returned from what a friend described as "a great 3-day fancy-dress party" - a biker rally.
Lots of people lots of booze lots of and lots of bikes! (Oh yes, and a few bare boobs too! )
About 5 000 people on bikes consuming liguor lavishly and I didn't see - or hear of - one single fight.

There were a few who depoited skin on tarmac when wheelies or stoppies or went wrong, but the ambulances where on the scene and they fixed their bodies up, even if the ego's were still damaged. The little town of Christiana has seen the Rhino every year for yonks and probably makes more money over a weekend than the rest of the year.

The main street (all one block of it) was closed off at each end with traffic police ensuring that only bikes gained entry to the fun and games. Every shop had some stall or other catering for the bikers needs - food and drink (the liquor laws were a bit fudged over the three days!) and much turnover was made by all except the traffic police who had their backs turned to the drags and wheelies and stoppies and such going on up and down the street.

At one point a bike rode up and down with the female pillion looking for her lost T-shirt (so she told the Police when they stopped her) but enough males also walking about without T-shirts on protested the gender discrimination involved and the boys in blue backed down. During the course of the day a few more careless ladies lost their T-shirts, bikini tops or string tops and found it necessary to show their nipple-rings and cup size - just so that people would know what size of shirt or bikini top to look for!

Great entertainment on Friday with live bands, including the Silver Creek Mountain Band who I remember from my University days (their contra-bassist hadn't worn shoes for 40 years then - and still doesn't!

With all that bikes and mind-altering liquid around I realised that I would have made a great Hippie - if I'd been old enough!

*enters from the Ladies and promptly makes for the bar, where she starts scratching her back on the corner*

Ooooh! Aaaaaah! Bliss!

I don't who or what was lurking in the wig, but it's left me all itchy!

I need a to take my mind off it!

Sounds like you had a great time WR, perhaps we can all come next time.

*Pours Santragenius a large mug of from the machine*

It sounds as though a good time was had by all WR, although I suspect that although you may not have seen many fights, you could possibly have left a few in your wake.

*Dabs a spot of Frontline on Caer's back, between her shoulder blades*

That should fix the wee blighters Caer! (I don't think there's a vet smiley)

*Slips out of the remains of her mousetrap outfit and adjusts her t-shirt and jeans so they bear a less crumpled appearance*

That's better!

Coffee please.

Sounds like a great weekend, WR.

*drags herself into light and tries to find *

So you all survived halloween? Weird...

We have to survive Election Day. That's much more important. Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing its idiot. Hopefully, after tomorrow, their idiot will be returning home.

Would that be the idiot some folks in Florida DIDN'T vote into power four years ago? I wouldn't buy a used car from him, let alone a WAR!

That's the one. Normally I wouldn't wish unemployment on anyone, but in his case (and Cheney, and Rumsfeld, and the rest of those a$$hole$) I'll make an exception.

I'm not over the moon about the other choice(s) either, I'm afraid but then it's not my election, thank you velly much!

It is unfortunate that our democratic system of government has become a choice of the lesser of two evils (or is it Elvises?), but at least it's done without the presence of armed crazies and public hangings. Those activities are left to the countries who receive "foreign aid."

Oh ta, Gwennie, felling less itchy already!

I am largely ignoring the US election, nothing I can do about it from this side of the pond but wait and see.

Is there any leftover ?

I wonder if is worth a try?

*Passes a freshly brewed pot of around and across to Hati*

'Elvises' is something that Gollum would say, isn't it Stagehand?

I'm not quite fed up with the coverage of the US election yet - but give me time. Some of it is rather repetitive as is most politics but I am itching to see who wins (allegedly and lawyers permitting of course!).

*Starts rubbing her back against the corner of the bar*

At this rate, I'll be needing to use some of that Frontline myself Caer...

I'll see if my local Red Cross charity shop has a smock, large tatty hat and piece of straw for your village idiot Stagehand, just in case he does return to his home.

*Rummages around in the October thread and emerges with some for Caer*

Would you be wanting a with that milady?

I did my best to send him home, Stagehand. My precinct has had much heavier than normal turnout. That's a positive sign.

I don't know if my nerves can take 4 more years of Ashcroft in the justice department.

I'm interested in what our friends from across the pond and around the horn think of our situation......I'll admit I cannot be objective, I think shrub and company are all skankjobs.

---'Elvises' is something that Gollum would say, isn't it Stagehand?--
Should that have been "Elvi"?, like cacti, octopi, rhinoceri?

Oooh thanks, Gwennie and too, how did you know?

Who's worst, the encumbent "diner pest shoe bugger" or the other candidate (strongly supported by Mr. Bill Clinton) whose real name is an anagram of "horny jerk"?

A cartoon in Monday's Star newspaper in Johannesburg shows two tall ballot boxes, labled Bush and Kerry, arranged like the fated Twin Towers building. In the corner a little newpaper vendor carries the comment: "Twin Tower disaster"

That says it all, I believe...?