h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i'm not sure i want to know the answer to this

He eats them. What else?

A double please barkeep.

With or without totally adhesed brownie/coaster?

Don't know what Hyp wants - but could I have with the brownie-coaster on the side, please?

*awaits the obvious puns with barely held breath *

...*refuses to lower herself to the pun awaiting to burst from her lips...*

I'll have the cheap rum. I'm jussss gonna' hurl anyway.
...*spits out seed from Hyp's special brownie...in a very lady like manner...*

If ya aint gonna eat it nor smoke it...then plant it!
Waste not, want not...where's next year's crop of muffins and brownies going to come from??

We have muffins on the menu here now? Make mine a double bran, please.
Middle age ain't easy, you know.

Middle?!?

*whilst still wired from the caffeine Gwennie so sweetely poured down her throat , up to the bar and grabs a brownie*

Anyone wanna dance?

*thumps the jukebox and Outkast spring to life belting out Hey Yah*

How can ya don't dance to this?

*displays her moves and makes shapes on the dance floor*

*Grasps tightly to avoid spillage, and wonders whether there are any Prozac muffins to offer round.*

...*on her way to dance with Caer whispers to Kes...*meet me in the alley
Whooot Whoooooo!

Double Bubble

Doesn't this jukebox have any ~real~ music on it? Something appropriate for Thanksgiving.......let's see......here we go.....Guy Lombardo and Jeanette McDonald.....Indian Love Call

I'll be calllllllling you oooooooh oooooooooh oooooooooh oooooooh oooooooh oooooooooooh

*dodges a variety of thrown objects*

Here, Kes. Have a special, special recipe brownie. It has an even more secret ingredient than the regular special recipe ones. I don't eat them myself, you understand. You have to keep these away from the ladies or they'll turn into nymphomaniacs. Course no one here is a lady, so what the heck.

...*knocks Caer down on her way to the brownies...chucks one toward Caer in the hopes it'll stave off the ouches...*

*Pan having grabbed most of the special brownie on her way past, Kes sniffs cautiously at a remaining crumb*

Don't guess you want what's left in my teeth? Go on! Be a man! Eat the crumbs. It's not like they'er crummy crumbs.

Apparently Pandora forgot to disable the record function on her phone.
The following conversation was transcribed:

"Fire Company 51", said Fire Chief Adams, answering the phone at the
firehouse.

"Help! Send someone over quickly!" the lady screams into the
phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!"

"This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to
transfer you to the Police Department."

"No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"

That's a lie!

There were three bikers and they were wearing chaps.

*Distracted by the phone recording from being knocked over ~and~ a special special brownie coming her way, forgets her hurts and happily munches*

take two of these and call me in the morning if you aren't feeling any better by then

*look for music on the jukebox that seems appropriate for Pan's ideas*

Ahh - Melissa Etheridge

So meet me in the back
Where the light don't shine
First show me yours
Maybe I'll show you mine