h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome you hopeful growers of ... herbs & whatever

the digger

WHERE´s the April thread? Where is the April Thread?? Where IS the April thread???

*sniffs at the plant*

This isn't some Aprilfool growing there, is it?

*breaks of a sprig of the Aprilfool growing close to the beginning of the path*

Hah! This could have fooled me...

Wathces as Chorny collapses into a heap of gibberish

Haga do goo be be doh doh humpf! Snachalla Patam E Paidjohm dome oi!

very entertaining - now I've got some serious business to get down to ... puts on protective paw gloves & ... begins digging ... throwing out all the weeds ...

getting dirty

*Leaps aside at the sight of a butt in the air with dirt flying out from beneath*

Wow, Shirps! We're going to start calling you Badger!

Oi! I'm a dog I could be a dachshund (mum used to breed those) - I think they were used to go down holes after badgers - not sure though.

Now how deep do you want these holes or am I just turning the soil over?

would rolls up sleeves if she had any

I think we need them really deep. Plenty of them too. Keep w*rking! I'll just supervise here with a nice large , , and a bag of ... You missed a bit over there.. good girl!

just mind where you put your feet - I am a you know

Right I have dug some lovely deep furrows, so when you've finished Mari ... if you'd like to starting sowing & planting ...

a nice bone to bury wouldn't go amiss

*Plants a , two rows of , a , and some plants. Sows the remainder with assorted herbs, including some that are for special recipes.*

Whew! I'm not used to all this w*rk. Time for a break.

I'll keep a vigilant guard - especially over the SP herbs Don't want any pesky field pinching them

Digger busy burying a bone retrieved from the local butcher ...

*tries pinching the , ends up with a pinch of salt... must be some here*

Foogoogydloola-april fool
I'look into sheds
And find the tool
To hack the beds
And act real cool
As if I were a gardner,
Who knows when to drool

*stoopid, but on the spot poetry!*

This 'aint no April Fool
I'm the
I'm the one to drool

You hack that bed
with that there tool
I'll lock you in the dark shed

If you can't find a
You're no gardener,
but belong in a house

First you dig the bed
And nevermind the worms
The instructions that you read
Say they will do you a good turn.

Next you plant the seeds
In such lovely straight rows
And you must pull the weeds
Wielding a great big hoe.

Then the sun will shine
And the rain will gently pour
The seeds will sprout so fine
Your veggies grow more and more.

Harvest them when they're done
Glorious shapes and colour
Cooking them is fun
Then you eat them up with butter.

mari

I hope we get enough sunshine ... & rain! You don't think it's likely we'll get a hosepipe ban round here?

sitting in the doorway of the shed reading a newspaper & drinking from a flask

Not in north Wilts so far.

*Finishes planting and straightens her back with a creak.*

How about a cuppa ?

Oooh yes please! The flask tea has gone very sortof bitter & 'orrible ... pulls up another deck chair for Mari to rest ... puts a cushion there too

for all your hard work - now my job is to watch - I hope you'll keep a check on it all in case anything looks awry

I hope those pesky wild creatures keep out - maybe a scarecrow?

We could use one of Pandora's gowns for a scarecrow.

Do you think she's miss it? How do we sneak it away from her?

You mean you haven't SEEN all those gowns in the Ladies?? She has a whole collection in there... and shoes. You have to fight your way to the sink!