h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Another Not the Nine oclock News flashback.

Does anyone remember a song the guys did on one of their albums called Boing or bouncing? The lyrics were funny as hell. Went something like "Boing boing boing boing boing boing - boing, bouncing till I get a pain in my groin" Its definately on the record they did which features the monkey Gerald and the american express/tits sketch.

Speaking of Policemans Balls. Does anyone remember Kate Bush singing a duet with Rowan Atkinson on stage at a Comic Relief concert, Chorus went something like "and the bears sha, la la laaaah in the woods, with Kate Bush ending on, I met him on a plane and he looked kind of down on his luck, so I charged him a flying fortune for a flying F%$#. Top stuff.

I remeber that song.

"I like bouncing, boing boin boing, bouncing up and down till I get a pain in my groin."

Class.

I like bouncing, boing boing boing
Up and down until I get a pain in the groin
Trying to be happy, so when it really counts
Turn into a rubber ball and bounce, bounce, bounce

I get up in the morning and I bounce around the bed
When my mum comes in to wake me up I bounce on her instead
I go into the bathroom and I bounce around the bath
When I try to s**t and bounce it's really quite a laugh

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the songs video is a comic take on the ska scene of 1979/80 featuring rowen atkinson as lead singer of the band.

There was alot of good sketches. I recall one which was something about a chap going into a bar and asking for drink and the bar man gives him lots of options. It went something like:

"pint, half pint, tall glass, small glass, sachet, schooner or pipette"

Can anyone remind me of the full text?

Thanks in advance

SJ

The man in the bar was also offered a selection of "Pork scratchings, chicken itchings, donkey's scabs..."

'Bouncing down the club with this bird named Dennis
I said to her in passing I was pretty good at tennis
She looked me up and down and said it doesn't need announcing
Judging by the way your balls are bouncing"

Rowan:

I met her in the 1st Class Lounge of a Jumbo Jet.
It was love at first sight, "Romeo and Juliet".

Kate:

He looked pretty rich and I was down on Luck.
So I charged him a fortune for a flying...

Rowan:

"F@(& crying out loud..."

Do I love you, do I want you?
Would I cut off all my toenails and put them in an envelope
With my feet...?
Do birds fly, do fish swim,
And do bears Sha-la-la-la, in the wood...?

And there is another verse, but thats all I remember...

This is the song on youtube then

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8xpURXB720