Veers Revett, Imperial Assassin and his once-fat cat, Palbert

So, this is Earth is it? Nice planet, I think we may stay for a while. 'We' being myself and my cat Al smiley - cat(Palbert for short) We were three but recently our other cat, Spotsmiley - cat (Spot for short) vanished herself and we haven't seen her for some time. [If you're out there Spot, please send us a purr so we know you are OK.]

Palbert and I are currently masquerading as a normal human person and his cat in the north-east of England. Many people who know me might dispute the normal part; even with my extensive training as a Guild assassin, blending into Human society has proven a bit tricky. I am sure this guide of yours will assist us admirably.

Please do not try to hire my services, I am bound by very stringent codes of practice and Imperial Statutes and normally I only inhume for the State.

I shall update this introduction with more details about my human persona when I have worked out who he is.

Palbert, The once-fat catsmiley - cat

Palbert is losing weight now, so I have to stop refering to her as 'fat-cat'. I've got her on a better diet, so she's slimming. Some people will say "Oh, cats won't over-eat." Well, they will, you bet your bippy they will.

Incidentally, Al doesn't have to pretend to be a cat (as I pretend to be human), cats are found in all civilised parts of the galaxy, having relinquished control of the Earth to the Dolphins some time ago, (the cats you see on Earth are here in an advisory capacity and also for the laughs).


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Veers Revett, Imperial Assassin & Palbert, the once-fat cat. (Happy to see someone VERY special has joined h2g2)

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