h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Somebody else chucked a firebomb at the science corridor but it had nothing to do with me. They missed the window and schorched the wall. I could have got it in. The fish never happened but I though it would be a cool idea. Someone did brick up the wheels of our german teacher/Nazi bitch though. One of my best friends was pushed down a flight of stairs and was (luckily only) badly concussed, and someone else I knew got his eye shot out with an airpistol. I'm so glad that guns are illegal in Scotland or Glasgow would be as bad as NYC. I never actually spread revolutionary papers although I did start to write one. I managed to escape the school before I finnished it so I never bothered. The teacher's overall were not bad but it was the neds that drove me insane. Although they will never turn up on any official forms here are some of the most important skills I learned at my school.

1) Avoiding missiles (usually cans, occasionally glass, often spit)
2) Making witty retorts to mindless racist taunts.
3) Running (not like cross country though-in PE class they don't teach you about slamming doors in pursuers faces and jumping staircases.
4) Looking frightening enough so that people won't make fun of you for fear of having their faces chewed off.
5) Grinning while being punched in the stomach (it's very unnerving when your opponent appears not to feel pain-or worse, enjoys it.)
6) Hiding from bams. (not hard- their not very bright.)

The strange thing was that I went to what was considered a nice little middle class nice school in a nice area. (very nice). They just happened to decide to round up all the bams they could find and put them in my yeargroup.

Anyway, Isn't this forum supposed to be about squirrels?

maybe the bad people work for the squirls?