h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...that I've tried to translate into English - enjoy!
- - - - - - - - - -
Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail and I've written the letter a but how do I get the little ring around it?
Support: Is the marker still there?
Customer: No, I'm all alone.
- - - - - - - - - -
Next customer couldn't get online.
Support: Are you sure you're using the correct password?
Customer: Yes, I watched my colleague typing it in.
Support: Could you tell me what the password is?
Customer: Five small stars.
- - - - - - - - - -
Support: Let's check your system - click on 'this computer'.
Customer: How could I do that from over here?
- - - - - - - - - -
Customer to Hewlett Packard support: My printer is broken.
Support: Which model is it?
Customer: It's a Hewlett Packard.
Support: Yes, I realise that. Is it a black and white printer?
Customer: No, it's beige.
- - - - - - - - - -
Customer to Tele2 support: I've bought internet and I need help.
Support: OK, how far have you gotten installing it?
Customer: I've unpacked the box with the internet in it.
Support: OK, have you attached all cables and turned on your computer?
Customer: Turned on my computer? I have no computer, I've bought internet.
- - - - - - - - - -
Customer: The computer keeps stopping to respond.
Support: Do you have a lot of windows open?
Customer: No, but the door is slightly ajar.
- - - - - - - - - -

Good job on the translation. I know you've done it correctly, because many of those made the rounds in English already, and they are *exactly* as I remember them

Just goes to prove - people are stupid whatever language they speak.

crivvens...............................

What about 'I haven't got an Any key'?

I lerved this!!

>>many of those made the rounds in English already>>

Odd, because I tried googling for them so that I wouldn't have to translate - but I didn't find them

http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/navmain.htm

There are also brainless people on the support end of the phone... No wonder tech support (the ones who really do the helping) have a hard time! With filters like George between customers like them above, it's all chinese whispers...

i still get confused on an almost daily basis from the error messages i get

they might just as well write them in ancient greek and use chinese letters for it

I find the George Chronicles giggle-worthy, myself ...

Meanwhile, more stupidity: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

I've never seen them on a website, only through email.

I confess: I am addicted to the computer stupidities site...

i'm only addicted to hootoo

could that be because i encounter so much computer stupidity at w*rk

But it makes my own luser problems fade into insignificance when I read those...

ah, yes, i can see that

but i don't have to go on the net to accomplish that