h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm confident (not doubtful ) you will find a place for that phrase. It does have a nice rhythm to it, even if I say so myself.

An interesting process, Ti - I admire your patience, your perseverence and your ability to use a second language better than most of us whose first it is.

*stands back and looks at that sentence - ach, it'll do.

For me - becoming depressed is an inexorable sinking into a morass; getting bogged down and being unable to do anything about it.

For me, depression manifests itself as a palpable gloom, a grey and clinging cloak that fits too well and makes it hard to take off. If I'm upset about something, I have a tendency to show it in my face by a grimace and grinding of teeth. My body slumps just a bit and I slog around, finding trivial things to do to keep me occupied. Most times I don't go back to the source of my aggravation, for fear of inflaming the situation more. I typically wait for the other party to come to me with further explanation or an apology. Too many times, when I've been the wrong party, I've delayed in apologizing and wound up stewing in silence for as long as an entire day. Those times are the worst. The world around me seems to lose its color. Sounds are muted and indistinct. I feel no desire for food, even basic sustenance. There are no pleasant aromas or familiar scents. My skin is numbed to contact and nothing feels right. It's like being in a sensory deprivation tank, without all that floating in salt water.

In order to break out of the grey funk, I have to gird up my mind and Decide to stop moping about and move on. That one decision helps build my Desire to see a change. Then I work on the Details of how to proceed, what words I have to say and/or actions I have to accomplish to affect the change. Then I see the Deliverance from the (quag)mire I had been wallowing in for the duration. There are many times it's taken someone else to lend me a hand, talk it over, work through the details with me, then it all seems to clear up. Funny, how when you step back and examine those situations after the fact, most of them don't seem to be anywhere near as dreadful / important / critical / emotionally charged as one first saw them.

B4idivulge2muchabouthowtherearetimeswheniamnotsuchaniceguy

Ti, I didn't mean to squelch your creative juices. Do keep at it. As Witty observed, it's exciting and enlightening to watch you in action with this. A kind of catharsis, as it were. For me, it's not exactly voyeurism, it's more like participating in a Vulcan mind-meld, seeing the contstruction of thoughts, feeling the emotions wash over me as I read, touching the environment you create with your electronic "pen", your keyboard. It was truly dynamic. It was as close as any of us could get to standing over your shoulder and watching you scribble the ideas on paper, noting how you scrunch up your brow when the words don't flow together properly, or how you dust away the eraser chaff after fixing a particular line, or the slight tilt of your head and satisfied smile you allow yourself when you realize a phrase "fits" into the whole composition. What am I saying to you? It was nice to watch and to comment on your work as a close friend might. If, however, my comments have gotten in the way, ask me to step back and simply observe. But by all means, carry on, don't stop until you're finished. I can be content to lurk until you're done.

B4youloseallthemomentumyouhadgainedwhenwelastsawtheproject

Oh, don't worry B4 - the only 'squelching' was caused, I think, by halving my medication - a bit too early, I think... I'll call the today and ask to be put back on the previous dosage.

Oh, dear! Stay on the full dose for a few months at least! Please! I've tried and failed too many times with cutting doses. You feel a little better, so cut dose, and then fall back in the blues.
*stern* Keep taking those pills!

Ah, the decision wasn't mine, but the doctor's, see - but she did tell me to give her a call if I felt worse.

Silly person, ought to know better! Several months, I say!

You have to teach your brain not to be sad, and that takes time. It has to know it and keep it as a habit, not before then is the brain ready to let go of crutches and post-it notes on the bathroom mirror. (if you get the analogy...)

Do wait until you feel truly at ease with the world, before you try to reduce. For my first round, it took about a month to *increase* to the right level. Might have been due to the side effects - old days... (Sweating, compulsive yawning, dry mouth...)

Well, we both thought that the medication in question was the reason for my sleeping problems, hence the halving, but I guess we were wrong because they actually grew worse on half the dose.

Oh... I wish I could help with that...

You had some strategy that worked a while ago? Getting up if you can't sleep?

(I tried something similar, only a few nights ago. Couldn't fall asleep, so took pillow and blanket to the couch, and promptly slept)

*scribbles*

Sliding back

Losing grip

Hold on!

Just close your eyes - and hold on tight.

The increased meds'll kick in soon.

Something tells me this is as yet unfinished. Still with us, Ti? I've only today had a chance to eavesdrop on it again, and it's worked its way down in my postings for all the newer stuff. It was a very intriguing exercise at its inception; I rather thought you'd come back to it with a fervor, to see how its final edit took shape. I'll swing back by again when I can.

B4igoback2myownlittlevignetteihavebeenwriting&want2sharewithyouall

It *is* unfinished, that's correct. However, I can only write 'poetry' or 'reflections' when something happens that prompts me to do it. Besides, I've spent the Easter with my mother = no Internet connection - but I'll get back to this before it's covered in dust and spiderweb...

So... Almost four years later... Still unfinished? Did you scribble this out on paper, instead? If there's yet any hope of seeing the compiled "as is" copy, would you post what you've got? I'd like to see how far you've taken this theme and the process itself...

B4idredgeupallsortsofoldmaterialthatshouldhavebeentickedoffthechecklistaeonsago