h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

doubtful within reach?

Don't do that! *slaps Witty's wrist*

Ooops, sorry... ...but that was such a lovely phrase 'doubtful within reach' that I could have slapped myself silly for not coming up with it myself!

Holy - that suggestion of yours might actually fit in even better than I first thought Witty!

You know, I could not write a poem myself. I'm not even that good at Scrabble. But I think I get the mood of what you are trying to create, and these words just keep popping into my head.

*Sits on hands.*

*gets a mental image of 'doubtful within reach' and gets busy exploring said image*

*Releases hands momentarily.*

Not to mention you are doing this in English! Keep it up.

*Sits back on hands.*

Don't sit on your hands Witty - don't! Please don't! I was just - uh - joking? No, rather jesting, I think... any which way, I appreciate your feedback Witty, and please keep it coming!

What I need to do next is to find a reason and a way for the person on the shelf to climb up - since I am myself in the middle of the process, I might not be ready to finish this off right now...

Okay. I have to go scrub a pot, but I'll be right back. Let if flow.

I think you need to decide if the person climbs up or is lifted in some way. Climbing implies doing it themselves, lifting implies there is help coming from somewhere. I think probably some combination of both.

I'll just add up the lines so far:

Somebody pulled out the plug
And I tumbled
Head over heels
Into a bottomless pit

Endless eternity
of free falling
into a bottomless pit

Abruptly
landing on a ledge
with a crash that jarred my soul

Shocked by the impact
I curled up, hugging my knees
like a child afraid of the dark

Long I sat there
surrounded by a darkness
that filled me with apathy

Numbed by a coldness
that drained me
of any emotion

A sudden sound
disturbed my dullness
'to be filled in'

How very clever of you Witty!

But in this case, I think it's the person on the shelf that needs to do all the climbing on herself...

Perhaps finding a few handholds before finally seeing there's a hand waiting to help, just a bit farther up?

B4someonelowersarope

This is fascinating, watching you comeup with poetry line by line. I'm sorry I can't offer any useful suggestions, but it's very impressive to do this in your not-mother-tongue.

*scribbles busily*

Equinox...

Ray of sunshine...

Equinox enabling...

-B-ringing -b-ack memories...

-L-ight and -l-aughter...

This is seriously , Ti - poetry in real time as it's already been coined.

I'm too tired to be constructive right now - will return (and if that doesn't scare you to get it going, I don't know what will )

I had to smile along the way - it's so typically you to get all 5 sense in there - smell, sound, sight (see, I can alliterate, too ). - it's part of what makes your writing so worth reading, to me at the very least.

'night & sleep tight without too many words careening around in your mind.

*decides to get rid of the last lines*

Equinox enabling
a ray of sunshine
to land on the ledge

Welcoming the warmth
-to be filled in-
-to be filled in'

And the light
brought back memories
of light and laughter

Of blue skies and...

My dullness disturbed
I welcomed the warmth

Oh drat...

Disturbing my dulllness

And Witty's 'doubtful within reach' is just a too lovely phrase that I simply can't ignore - I need to work it in somehow!

And no Witty, it's not out of courtesy, it's because I love the sound of that phrase - 'doubtful within reach' *starts repeating the phrase to herself, trying to combine it with various images, impressions, sentiments and moods*