h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*warning, this is one of those long rant thingies*






I've gone and done it again!

I ought to have learnt by now that I should stick to my profession and not get distracted by all those other things around me, putting 2 & 2 together!

Case A:
I spent 10 years w*rking in the same place, but in 7 different positions which, of course, gave me a pretty good picture over all - so, in the end, colleagues from all kinds of departments would come to *me* with their questions, questions that had absolutely nothing to do with my current position!

Case B:
Next place - I spent 8 years there and - with the added experience from w*rk place A & B I ended up in the same situation! *Everyone* asking me what to do, having been advised 'ask Ti, she knows *everything*!

Case C:
My current w*rk (2 years by now) - so today I was trying to make a deadline - and of course everyone and the whole seemed intent on consulting me!
Oh - and for the record - my dept is 'Finance & Administration' aka 'Accounting & Reporting' - numbers, get it?

Phone calls:

No, I'm not involved with accounts payable but since that person isn't here today, I'll try to help you anyway

Ordering gift vouchers, no, I'm not involved in that, but since that person isn't here today, I'll send the order form to you by e-mail

Question regarding F&B (Food & Beverage) cash register - no, I have no experience of that at all, but I know who you can call instead

People showing up at my desk:

My nearest boss, inquiring about whether I'll make the deadline. Reply - nope! Still missing feedback from one party.

The boss above my boss, same question, same answer.

A boss from the marketing dept wanting to discuss some statistics, and whether I might have (why me?) any suggestions as to why they look as odd as they do? (Yeah, of course I had a lot of ideas - stupid!)*slaps self*

Same marketing boss returning later to double check some instructions with me (yeah, yeah - fine, cut that part, add this info)*repeat slap*

A person from the staff administration dept showing up asking for help to update their manual (because the manual is part of the *one* page of our IntraNet that I'm responsible for!) Had to install a new device on my PC in order to access it.

A person from our IT dept turning up, asking for help trying to figure some things out - hey! I'm definitely not a ! The IT dept is supposed to full of s - how come they didn't manage to figure this out themselves? (And yes, I managed to come up with an amazing (to me) number of reasonable and logical explanations) - and I haven't even used that specific system for more than two years! And this was the second time that the IT people consulted me about things that have nothing what-so-ever to do with my current position - but they know about my background, because I used to w*rk in the same place as one of the s... Damn, damn, damn!

And, to round it off nicely - I consulted the marketing dept regarding my project, and discovered that I need to convert it into the new layout/font/profile of our company - and the new font is bigger than the font previously used! Nnnngggghhhh!

Did I make the deadline? Nope! Good thing my boss/es accepted my explanation...

It sounds like it might be time to look for a new job. Or maybe you can get an unlisted phone number and move your office without telling anyone.

Move my office? Ha! I'm setting at a desk in a big room with many other desks - what office?

New job? Yep, been thinking of that, since 2 years seems to be the maximum I've ever stayed in one and the same position (having learnt everything and beginning to feel bored) but I'd prefer the new position to be within this company, partly because of the nice staff benefits...

...but staying with the same company would probably just result in the 'know-it-all' situation again...

I used to be the "go-to" person at my last place of employment. What really used to get to me were the people who would take up my time asking for help (related or unrelated to ~my~ job) and then not take my advice. What a waste of time.

Hmmm... not sure what's worse - people not taking your advice, or taking it very seriously when all you did was having a bit of brain-storming, throwing-out-ideas

Oh dear. That is taking multi-tasking to the extreme. Was today typical? If so, you definitely need to either find another position or set some perameters for your coworkers.

I sincerely sympathize because I have a different but similar problem. I can never start and finish a task without a lot of interruptions. This makes everything take much longer than it should. Some days it drives me crazy. But the scary thing is that I've gotten used to it.

You and H have a lot in common, T, the toughest thing is learning to say 'No, I am sorry but I really can't help you at the moment'.

Now telling people to "sling they're hook" is great, beleve me, i work in an enviroment that you need help from other people from thme to time, but you get the new boy/girl which keeps asking for help/advice/stuff and they have to learn to stand on there own too feet!
so the answer is to charge them, say a cup of tea made by your good self! this works with managers a treat, and they don't come back!

Now as a man, I have found a few female "put off's" pritty good and that work with men well as well as female's too.

"Sorry but i'm breaking in a long line bra ATM" this was used by a girl friend of mine on a manager who kept on asking questons about why she was figeting in one of his lunchtime talk's! result stopped the lunchtime talk's and we could eat in peace!

"My foot's asleep do you mind if I join it" Use, to wind up any boring meeting!

failing that just say... off! that works too!



Just put your feet up and have some

A trick from my job was to ask first for the signature of the one who was going to pay for my time, as we had an internal budget system.
And the correct filled in order forms, and so on.

Alas this created an extremely sluggish burocracy, where a five minute job took five weeks of red tape

Learning to say no is definitely something I'm not very good at, Caer - thanks for the advice!

Red tape? The company I w*rk for is extremely unformal (if I were to talk to the highest boss I'd definitely use his first name, but I've never actually talked to him, since he's too many levels away). This is something rather typical to a lot of Swedish companies I'd say...

This goes both ways - when I last had a problem that I thought that the IT dept could help me with, I took the lift up to the 10th floor and then attacked the very person I thought would be most likely to be able to help me (and I was right).

And - as I mentioned before - the staff benefits (and - even more important - my closest colleagues) are way too nice - how about paying 25 GPB for a hotel room anywhere in Sweden - or even 15 GPB for a room in a luxurious hotel room in London - *and* 50% discount on foods and drinks?

Be glad your company is so informal.

Red tape is slang for the total burocratic rubbish of having to fill in lots of forms for the most simple things and have them stamped and signed and tracked and meetings about.

Before our bankes merged ten years ago, ours was quite informal, and wanted things done quickly. The other wanted things done 'the correct and documented way'. Alas, they won.
I am glad I am out now.

Your way works fine in a not to large business. Be glad to have it, only you must learn sometimes to say 'no, ask him/her when they are back'. Or tell them it may interfere with the logistics if you act on your own


If I ever come to Sweden, can I be temporary staff including the benefits?

*offers and sympathy*
Hey, that was a very good description of my friday!
Seriously - I know where you're coming from.

Are all office's like that as i don't think i could work in one!

Whenever one of my days goes like that - and I think that no matter which organisation, you're bound to have them, I try to sit back for just a second or two and think

either

"Why stop now, just when I'm hating it?"

or

"...There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened...."

That usually gives me distance enough to remember that essential point that Caerwynn already brought up - to get back in the habit of politely saying no to what needs to be said no to...

(and I'm not the best in the world at that and probably never will be..)

T, you really should start charging for advice.

If you can't say "No" then print out some leaflets.

"For your attention:
There are only so many hours in the day, and I need to spend all those hours on my own work, so I don't get fired. So please do not take offence, but the answer to your query/question is, "Sorry, I do not have time to tell you". I suggest you ask someone else, or better still, learn the job!"

Then you can just hand out the leaflet...

The trouble is, I think, that I started my career working at the front desk of a hotel - 'service-minded' was a key word, and dismissing a hotel guest with 'I don't know' or 'I can't help you right now' was a big no-no

Service with a smile!

Besides, my own w*rk can be quite boring at times, so distractions can be a bit of a relief - it's just when I get too many of them that I get frustrated!

At a project management training today, we had this interesting exercise:

You stand up behind your chair, loosen up, shake your arms a bit. Then, move your right hand down to your left foot. Then, "everybody ready?" When people murmurs their assent, everybody just rips their right hand back up until it stretched diagonally up into the air while yelling at the top of their lungs: "NOOOOOOOOOOO"

It was just an illustration of how you can react to impossible constraints on a project