h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One year ago today, if my Fairy Godmother had appeared in front of me, and offered me two wishes, I'd have said:

"A residential school for Andrew and a loving husband for me"

Now I have both, why aren't I ecstatically happy?

Er, besides all you don't have your wishes anymore - they were granted.

Maybe because you didn't want both together? Now you have Mr Galaxy Babe, the residential school isn't so essential?

And perhaps there's a little niggle that finally you will get some respite from Andrew, and there's still a little one in the house?

Someone once said that the worst thing that could happen to you would be to have all your hopes, dreams and wishes come true - then what would you have left?

That would only be possible for me if I had an obscene amount of money, which I don't - so I'll always have hopes and dreams

The residential school may be just what Andrew needs. Concentrated teaching with all the facilities available to enable him to attain the best possible standard of independance once he is older.

You will miss him, naturally, but it is a wonderful opportunity for him and try and think about that rather than his being away from home during the week.

It feels a bit like he's left home, doesn't it? It does certainly feel very hard packing your child off to a residential school, even if they want to go. That'll be why you're a bit down, but it should settle. It just feels odd to begin with.

Whoami?

I think you're probably in shock....

Nobody deserves these breaks as much as you do, I hope things all work out.





Bassman

Ecstatically happy takes a lot of energy, maybe you can now relax so why spend so much energy on being so happy? If you feel content, then that is great. Its believed that we can't be happy all the time, cause of the energy thing, so content is the best thing to aim for on a daily basis. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet, give it time.

Even good changes can be stressful.

It may not have all sunk in yet AGB.

Just keep breathing in and out and see how you do a week or so after Christmas.

It will settle down to routine soon, and I think you'll both get a lot out of it.

don't cry
^. .^
= ' =

Perhaps this is why you suddenly aren't so anxious to put Andrew in a residential school:

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Ideno was spot-on, but I'd say there's the rub.

Talk about a rock and a hard place!

But you don't have to take the place and if Andrew is happier and more settled it may be that he will make improvements anyway.

However, if the school will give him a chance to be better prepared for adulthood and the possiblity of independent living, then it could well be an opportunity for Andrew can't afford to miss.

The weekends could be very special times, when Andrew comes home and you see the improvements he has made.

I quite agree, it is a rock and a hard place. Also I don't know anything about the school, but if they have a proven track record of really helping then it makes the hard place not such a bad choice.

Also, if you don't try it, you may end up thinking "what if" for ever. So how about you give it a decent go, and then if you think it's not for you and Andrew, at least you tried it out.



never easy, is it.

It seems like we've been discussing this for about 18 months and I believe I was the one that sent you the list of schools in the first place with this one on it, so I'll remind you of something I said elsewhere.

Given the length of school hols and the fact that you will be dropping him off on a Monday morning and collecting him on a Friday afternoon, Andrew will spend about 150 nights sleeping elsewhere, out of the 365/6 in a year.

So you'll still see plenty of him - he'll spend more nights at home with you than at the school. Without the full-time worry of caring for Andrew you'll have more energy for the weekends, half term and longer holidays. You could get a part-time or temp term time job and save some money for a big family holiday to make the summer even more special for all of you. But remember, for the majority of the time he'll be under the same roof as you at night, for you to tuck up in bed.

Some things won't change. He'll bring home all his washing for you! You'll still have to buy his soap, toothpaste etc. But you can hide little presents in his bag that he will find when he unpacks.

As has been said, if the school has a track record of being exactly the kind of environment he'll thrive in, then he will do so well and make you proud enough to burst. You've often expressed concern about what will happen when he gets to puberty. Let a good school help you to make sure he turns out a fine young man.

The LEA turned down my application for Andrew to attend the Robert Ogden school.