h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1. Stick roughly four strips of equal length to deepen and smoothe out the sound of your toms (that's a type of drum to the uninformed).

2. Tape ducts.

Tape Ducts!!! does any one really use it for that, I thought thats what masking tape was for

No no no.
Masking tape is the poor man's Duct Tape. Besides, it's far too flimsy and falls apart when wet.

But no, I've never known someone to tape a duct with it... although I have more uses:

3. Stick it to the floor of a stage as markings for stage direction.

4. Use it to keep an oven door shut when the spring is broken, or to prevent the witch from esca- I've said too much.

While I am aware of the universal importance of duct tape, (the Western world would be brought to its knees without it), -these ducts on which the tape was presumably first intended to be stuck, - what type of ducts are they and why do they need taping?
I'm sure I'm just being ignorant. For a long time I thought it was called duck tape but that makes even less sense and, of course, brings up all sorts of waterfowl-cruelty issues.

I too have spent many nights pondering this question.
And the obvious answer is... er...

look, has anyone ever _actually seen_ any of these so-called 'ducts'? I imagine by the term 'duct' people mean pipes of some kind. Maybe it's used in plumbing or something.

One thing's for sure: it can't have been intended to make wallets.
Can it?

my guess is that it is for heating ducts used in forced air home heating systems and other air ducts. Although I've never used it for that purpose, it seems like something you might need a strong tape for in order to get airtight seals and such.

You could be on to something.
However, I'd rather think it was for something more exciting: like sticking the Space Station Meir/Meer/whatever together when bits fall (or is it float?) off.

Space Station Meer was in fact made entirely out of Duct
Tape, specially sprayed to look like metal and glinty solar
panels. The cosmonaut's suits are also made from duct tape
and, prior to extra-vehicular activity, all EV suit joins are
sealed with duct tape.

I always thought that was electricians tape.

It seems I amy be the first researcher to point out it is often known as 'gaffer tape'. Presently I have 3 colours of gaffer/duct tape in my collection - black, white and silver/gray, to complete my collection I need some fluorescent (orange, yellow, green) and hazard (black&yellow striped).

Advantages of gaffer/duct tape over PVC/electrical tape

pro - it's wider. it sticks better and more permanently
con - leaves a nasty sticky residue when removed, can't get as many colours, can't get many rolls in your pocket.

Alternate uses of gaffer/duct tape -

Emergency fixing of embarrasing tears in the seat of your pants. nb. Stick the first strip on the inside facing out!

Removing excess body hair - much cheaper than waxing.

Silencing drummers - also stops them dribbling.

And for tying people up with and gaggin them, but only on the TV. I hope.

Im sure its called Gaffer tape!

Are you sure about that? I've used both gaffer's tape and duct tape rather frequently and I always thought they were seperate kinds, or maybe just variations. Gaffers tape usually is less sticky, matte black, and has a finer grain on top. We used it for just about anything in high school, mostly for fastening new thespians to various pieces of furniture in the theatre for initiation.

Duct tape was used mainly to secure fireworks to various things for strategic detonation

I can't believe no one has mentioned Duct Tape's ally in the DIY home-repairman kit --- Zip Ties. Almost as handy, even used by some police forces, the zip tie is used for just about anything that duct tape isn't.

Of course for those of us in dear old Blighty - these are Ty-wraps.

I have a brown variaty.

It is also a good alternative to a hands free kit, you need a piece slightly longer than the circumferance of yor head.......

I always called them zip-strips...

No, no, no. Not Zip-ties, not Ty-wraps (a phrase I've never heard in Old Blighty (maybe that should be "Cool Blighty")) or Zip-ties. As far as I'm concerned they're called "Cable ties" and I'll hear nothing said to the contrary.

As for word definitions, I thought "Duct" was actually Contonese for "wallet"

GF

True "gaffers" tape is only related to duct tape in size and appearance, 2" wide "permacel" is the film industry standard "gaffers"
tape most commonly found in mat black, many, many things are held down, blacked out touched up etc with this stuff as the black version all but disappears on camera, and it can be removed with out the gooey residue that Duct Tape leaves behind,

Why, there's a vertiable world of sticky tapes out there for us to expand our knowledge of self-adhesive strips.

Selotape, anyone?