h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

LMAO @ Big Bad Mr T

HA HA HA Ha Ha ha ha!

Wait, there's also Double sided tape!

HEE HEE HEe HEe Hee Hee hee hee!

And (HO HO) Carpet tape!

*rolls around the floor a few times until his arse falls off*

But seriously (as the men in white coats approach) cable ties are the definitive description of the aforementioned ty-wraps, etc. Also used to restrain people by the law enforcement agencies when they run out of handcuffs & psyciatric establishments.

"please... don't! I have taken my medicine this evening nurse."

"It tasted like scotch...tape! Snigger"

the best use so far is nipple tape using two squares of gaffers tape to keep those pesky things hidden in wholsome family type shots

What I have used gaffer/duct tape for:
1. Black tape - cutting out circles of different sizes to stick all over white t shirt and shorts so that children could attend a 101 dalmations fancy dress party.
2. Silver tape - stuck on the sill of my car door because I always catch my high heels on this bit and take chunks of paint off. This can will not suffer the same fate.
(NB. a few years ago when I went into a motorcycle shop to buy my very own first roll of the tape, the assistants were laughing and sniggering to themselves. I became aware that there might me another use for the stuff which I couldn't possible go into here. )
What I have used the tie wrap thingies for. - Holding on hub caps.

Well you might not want to go into the other uses here... But lots of other people have at http://www.h2g2.com/F16034?thread=43314 :-)

Ahem!
Yes, that must be it. Don't see you posting there, so I guess you must be an observer, or are you in disguise?
*goes off for a cold shower and contemplation of how other people have much more interesting lives!*

Me...
Never been there myself

*drip drip*
Me neither then.

Just don't go near any fora on cling film

I think I'll just stick to the universal UK government answer to anything which might have the slightest chance of coming back to embarrass them. (ie everything)


I can neither confirm nor deny the presence in any forum or article of anything written by Bald Bloke or any alter ego thereof (who may or may not exist) ........
<\FORMAL STATEMENT>

You do exist though. We've met! Or is it any alleged alter egos that may or may not exist?

Um I've heard that duct tape doesn't actually fix ducts. the purpose it was created for is unsuccessful... And don't ever leave masking tape on the outside of a car for two months. it does not come off very easily. at all. i was painting my car lots of beautiful colors and i taped the windows and then was too lazy to take some of the tape off. i regretted it muchly.

Try nail varnish remover.

Are you sure it's not "duck" tape? I must say, I always thought it was DuckTape.... well it just goes to show, you never can tell the depth of the well by the length of the handle of the pump.

I once knew a hamster who used to carry round his own masking-tape and everyone called him a slut.

Duck Tape is the brand name of one of the biggest selling brands of Duct Tape, I think like Hoover they have almost managed to get their name up to that high point of advertising where the product is often known by the brand name.

We have a thread going about brand names that become product names. Let me see if I can find it... Aha! Curiously enough it also derived from a conversation about duct tape! Here's the address- see if you can get in on the fun and think of more! http://www.h2g2.com/F26952?thread=53803 :-)

*Mr T impersonates Harry Hill*
Aauuuh
Wadda the chances of that happenin' eh?

30 million to 7.

*Mutter grumble*

Oh, there's _always_ one smart Alec with their calculator and their astounding knowledge of probablilties.

Actually, there is another tape product available which is used for taping ducts. I don't exactly know the reason for this, as ventilation ducts are always put together with metal screws. Must have something to do with air leakage or something along those lines. This *true* duct tape is made of cloth-reinforced aluminum foil, and adhesive, of course. *Normal* duct tape is not rated for use on ducts, as high temperatures cause it to lose it's grip quickly (and smell terribly!).

Oh yes, it is also possible to make a candle out of (normal) duct tape. Roll the tape very tightly right off the roll, until you have something that looks a bit like a short silver cigarette. You can stick it to whatever surface you choose to, and attempt to light. Now, this does take a bit... a cigarette lighter works better than a match. But once it is lit, it will burn brightly for a *long* time.

Note: Not recommended for indoor use, unless fumbling around in a cloud of raunchy black smoke is your idea of a good time.

Güthwinë

Gaffe/gaff/gaffer's tape is matte, and nearly always black, though a friend of mine had some that was camoflage. It's usually a little less sticky than Duct tape, and like a VERY fine griptape (like on skateboards)
Duct tape is shiny, usually silver, and has threads running through it.

Interestingly enough, Duct Tape actually isn't very good for ductwork, since the adhesive dries out. It's only good for a VERY temporary patch.

-conspyre, Lord of the Tape

"The Force is like Duct Tape. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together."