h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We have stated that the 'Celery and Webjello assasination' post was entertaining. Several have noted that it was flawed. Big C asked in what way the post he made was flawed. Here are a few of the points I've noticed (with quotes from the original posting, which is available at: http://www.h2g2.com/F49946?thread=68145&post=519801) _________________ "Subjects The Celery and Ms Dolores A. Webjello located in room." Not true. Earlier posts had established their location elsewhere, and no action had brought them into the room. "Enters the hotel's banqueting Hall, where Celery and Webjello are sitting on the podium with Redbeard." Not true. The banquet hall did not have a podium. The podium, which is where The Celery and Webjello greeted people, was outside the room. The banquet room had earlier been made smaller with dividers to include just comfortable chairs, sofa, and fireplace. Established firmly in the posts and the page. Also, The Celery and Webjello had left the podium outside the room at least a day prior to that. The picture had even been changed to reflect that fact. (see http://www.h2g2.com/A404407) "You, Celery, do not exist! Neither does Webjello!" This just gets to be a little problematic from a logic structure. First of all, telling people they don't exist is odd, because if they didn't you couldn't tell them. Then later killing them also seems odd. "Celery, you have offended the rights of the true h2g2 presidential voters by faking the amount of votes you have. No one had heard of you before the elections, and yet you are in the lead. This, my friends, is a fixed vote! And it's your entire fault Celery!" Not true. The Celery has not faked any votes. There hasn't been any voting. Voting doesn't begin until August 20. It can't be a fixed vote, because it hasn't happened yet. The only thing that's going on now is an informal opinion poll run by E Vibenstein that has no bearing on the election - just for fun, and the Celery has no connection or authority with it, nor has he voted in it. "Now, Webjello, you are charged as the accomplice of this treason! Your apparent presence on the Net is unauthorised, and you have illegal control over many things." Odd. Who would authorize Webjello's presense? What illegal control are you talking about? "Finally Redbeard. You are in fault of the Rules and Regulations of the h2g2 Virtual Prez Elections. You are in fact the creator of these identities. They do not exist on h2g2. You control what they say, what they do. If they were to be elected, you would be the only true winner. This is an illegal operation, and I am authorised to stop it here and now!" Not true. The Rules and Regulations of the Virtual Prez Elections have not been violated. Read them. Please. They're located at http://www.h2g2.com/A387308 . I also did not create either of those identities. It is not an illegal operation under the Prez Campaign, which is what this is about. The Prez Campaign is not being run by the Multi-Galactic Government of San Beta, so it has no jurisdiction. "Mr Celery, Ms Dolores A. Webjello, I charge you under the authority vested in me by the GalaGroup of San Beta with the attempted manipulation of h2g2 to your own ends. You are hereby expelled from the Virtual Prez Elections, and may not re-enter." The Prez Campaign is not being run by the Multi-Galactic Government of San Beta, so it has no jurisdiction. "In the mean time, The Celery climbed out of Big C's pocket and joined the fearful duo of onlookers" Did you shrink him to fit him in your pocket? Check out The Celery's size in comparison to a jello mold in the pictures. The Celery is MUCH larger than a normal non-sentient stalk of celery. "Redbeard pulls out his own gun and points it in Big C's direction. He fires, and its one single bullet hits Big C's shields square on. It presently bounces off, and grazes Redbeard's shoulder, knocking him unconscious." You clearly are not aware of the armament I carry, which has been established fully at the Space Farer's Cantina Armo

Personal note to The Big C.

I get the feeling that you may have been upset with me over this issue. I apologize for that. I did not in any way intend that. I held no malice to you in any way, and I had a wonderful time in our discussion last week.

I, and others, reacted. Was it wrong the way we reacted? I truly don't think so, but I realize there are different opinions. But please realize that we were under a fair amount of pressure by the way we were being ganged up on, and we honestly tried to do the right thing in the circumstances.

-- Redbeard

Lighten up.

Boy, you're fast!

OK. Sorry.

Apology accepted.

*need black smileface with glowing red eyes!*

Ant Lady lighten up too.

Ok, a few things to say here...

First, I'm sorry (and I'd at this point like to tell Amy *not* to say something stupid like "well, I should hope so too!" I'm trying to be serious here!).

Second, I'd like to explain my well-pointed-out flaws...
-> OK...I admit that I was terribly unfair in not letting you take part in the, ahem, assassination. But I did write the whole thing in one post because of that! The only way (even if it was unfair, and I won't do it again) for me to get something done, was to control you, so I did...
-> Some parts in the post were jokes, for instance the involvement of my San Beta Government...perhaps I should have explained them further...
-> I thought I checked to see if they were in the room, and I was quite sure that they were, otherwise I would have manipulated them to coming in too!
-> Erm, yes, the podium...I couldn't think of another noun for anything they'ld stand on to address people in the hall, so i just used that...
-> When I said they didn't exist, I meant they didn't exist as registered researchers for h2g2...that's all...
I was under the impression you had to be a researcher to enter these elections, but I checked the rules after I posted my Big Post...oops...

There, that's your questions answered. I've also replied to your post about VR RB...

Now, one final note: I would appreciate if NO more sarcastic comments about this were made! I have said I'm sorry, and that's that!

Thankyou...

- The Big C

Thanks, Big C. I really appreciate your post.

It feels good to be talking with you!

I also realize that some of the parts were jokes and I should not have listed those as 'flaws' -- in retrospect they were quite fun.

I've got an idea!

How about setting up an assassination adventure! Invite all the candidates, confine the action and results to that thread (separate dimension or whatever), and just have a good time! If we thought it would get too competitive, we could even make it a post-election assassination party and have it after the final results. Then all the candidates could just have fun assassinating each other without worrying about how it affected them elsewhere.

You had some great action in your epic, and it would be fun to participate in such an adventure.

- Redbeard

Hmmm, yes..what a wonderful idea!
We could do that as a big event!

and people who have half-life or something like that could take part in a great big deathmatch! Real assassination! Hehe...

Yes, I'll certainly think about this assassination party...

Pierrot: Aaaaaaawwwwk, Candidates will be dying to participate.

quite so...
He,
he,
he...

Actually, I'm working on a Space Station Big C map for Counter-Strike, so we could use that if we wanted, or I could make some more h2g2 related maps, though I'll need one heck of a detailed description from the attraction's owner!