h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Likewise *^_^*

Irv, I can do Sunshine Of Yer Love easy (most of the time), just depends how fast you want it

Heck, I'm still trying to tune the dratted thing! My tuner (sounds like tuna - that's dirty) has got strange ideas as to when my bass is properly tuned
Then I try to practise Futureal by Ir...

Affi: I think I asked you before: just wtf is the Krylma dude?

*summons cleaning bot again to deal with Sporky* Mind the carpet, friend. Even Mindspring is tidier than that
*Ampton cages Mindspring and heads out for doughnuts carrying the cage while cleanbot does floor then pushes Sporky into kitchen*

Mike-o, Wrathchild is using your cartouche...

Mike A, the Krylma leader is the ... well, he's the last villain in The Bond movie that many researchers were involved in. You see, they made the mistake of letting the original villains develop personalities. So, because they didn't want to kill off these guys, I was asked by Garius to be the villain. He didn't know what he was bargaining for.

So, I showed up unexpectedly, cloned Bond, Liebe, and Volk, sent hordes of ninja-like warriors (the Gecko Warriors as we called them) after Bond, unleashed a Kraken into the waters off of Perth, Australia, and nearly killed them all and nuked Earth from a secret base on the Moon.

When I made Personality Programmer, it was designed to make a person act like other researchers around h2g2. Unfortunately, I fell inside it before the bugs came out, and now the persona of the Krylma leader is in my brain. But not for long!

*Pushes some buttons on wristwatch. A large telephone booth, TV set, VCR, computer, blender, and the fish cloner machine (rewired) appear in the Studio, all conected with a lot of wire. Affy jumps into the booth, and closes the door*

Okay, someone pull the lever! And watch out: The Krylma leader is almost more lizard than human. He can jump about fifty feet straight up, lunge at you from sixty feet, spit venom, he has retractable claws, a prehensile liard toungue, fangs, and eyes designed to track movement. However, he should be shocked, so just shoot 'em with this.

*Tosses a Snowzar (Gun invented by GL to freeze people for anywhere from five minutes to eternity) out of booth*

It's set for an hour. That should give me more than enough time to take it to the jail cells at the detective agency. Now, flip the switch please!

If this is what it takes to restore a little order in my space *picks up gun* then I will shoot whatever comes out and isn't Affi.


It is done!

*Krymla leader jumps out of machine, and is consequently zapped. Lil drops gun, Irv, confused, lunges for gun and fires just as Ampton walks in the room. Ampton is frozen, and Mindspring's cage falls to the ground, breaking open. Mindspring makes a break for it at top speed which, for a sloth, will allow him to move about ten feet before Ampton thaws*

Oops... sorry!

*JB enters the forum; he wipes his feet on the welcome mat and heads to the bar*

A vodka martini, shaken not stirred, please.

Er... Bond? One of those Popcicles over there is the Krymla Leader. I think it's the green one -- 'cause the purple one is Ampton. My fault, sorry. But if you could do something about that villain there, I think he's about to thaw.

This post has been removed.

*has retreated to corner of room*

I am going to resume on a calmer note at http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=38024&thread=50674
while the noisy and destructive bits play out here.

But before I move, may I remind you:

I don't have a bar.

This was a nice comfortable sitting room, sort of art nouveau, with a studio over THERE which is private, my living quarters over there which is also private, a kitchen over there which, like this salon, is public, and da Nephew's digs over THERE which are as private as he wants them to be. And down THAT way is the gallery.

*picks up Mindspring and begins to soothe him*

*Mike retires ti his room while trying to remember all the rude South Park words*