h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* walKs in and trys the biG hammer* WUMMMMMmmmm....

... worKs quite well,
so there are ANY problems out there ?????

Yes, someone's makeing quite a bit of noise, it souns like a

WUMMMMMmmmm....

You wouldn't know anything about that would you?

*Just visiting and checking that everything's in order*

Ernesto, you know every judGe have to have a hammer, for silence etc.

just tried if I have the riGht biG one and as you can hear ... WUUUUMMMMmmmm....
it works well,

but I hope, I will not need it

*Pokes head in, waves Big Gun around*
Oh sorry Judge. Just checking there were no security problems.
*Smiles guiltily, having caused a major temporal anomaly*
Damn, i'm meant to be chatting with MaW right now, at the same time I'm reporting to Big Evil Dan!

*runs out*

*wake's up of a sweeeeeeeeeeeet dream*

...ah ... what's up, some business???

You know, I'm almost considering getting somebody to commit a crime, just so the two of us can get some business.

er ... you really like to work ?

Not really, but it beats staring at the walls all day. And I've been waiting to shoot somebody since I got this job.

... but I tought work doesn't fit with weekendism ...?

... or counts shooting people for fun ?

AXR

Shooting people counts as fun. Why else would I take the job? For the money? I get paid nothing.

*looks for the next possibility to hide behind*
err ... you don't need fun right now, or???

I wouldn't shoot anybody unless they were commiting some sort of nasty crime.

*walking slowly backwards ... *

what kind of nastiness ? I mean there is a with range of defintions ... some may say furting in public is very nasty ...

Prepare the courthouse for the arrival of Chrome101, convited of vandalising a water machine.
I can't belive this, I have to organise my own trial. Oops, forgot to switch off. Son of a -

... have I to do everything by myself ??? Why I wasn't informed by now ???
*opens the file SpaceCenter vs. Chrome101 , case of vandalism*

You got a lawyer, chrome101? ... and where is the public prosecutor?

HAVE I TO DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF???

*Dan enters, bringing in Chrome101 behind him.*

Here is the one accused of blowing up the water cooler. As Security Officer, I will be prosecuting. And since nobody else can do it, I'll be his defence as well.

Hey, I get paid twice this way.

go on then, Officer, read the charges...

... and well, the defense too. Any witnesses?
And what will the accused say for his defense?

I AM listening!

*starts to read some news about jurisdiction on the earthNet* ... dividing in two parts, mmmhh ... sounds not that bad *goes on reading, while listening*

*Chrome101 takes a deep breath, then begins his defense*

Well, I was in the vicinity of the aforementioned water machine, when I saw a group of people, Alien and Irving Washington among them, standing around and talking in ecstatic terms about water.
I could only conclude that they were under the influence of psychotropic drugs, and therefore I had no alternative, but to destroy this evil water machine.

*sits down, drenched in sweat. The public gallery erupts in raptuous applause*

*wonders if that's really how it went...*