h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Witty enters Alien's office.*

Alien, I need to make an inquiry about the fire chief. What precisely are his duties?

I had a bit of an incident over at the 24-Seven. I wonder if you'd mind taking a peak over here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F49574&thread=100664&skip=80&show=20

beginning at post #89.

I hope it's not too much trouble.

I can't recall that setting fires was part of fire chief's duties... I'll take a look at the case...

As Science Officer, may I make a comment?

HappyDude (aka Happy, for short) is the Chief Firemarshel. Firemarshal? Firemarshoul? Firemash...never mind the spelling, I'm too lazy to look it up. In any event, he was conducting an experiment as to whether or not the 24-7 had appropriate security against fire. His hypothesis was that the fire systems would work, preventing anyone from harm.

However, had his hypothesis been incorrect, it would have caused a danger. This experiment was not conducted in a safe environment, and could easily have been tested in one (for instance, he could have contained the fire in a steel drum.)

I won't make a comment about whether or not this was appropriate behavior (after all, he *is* a clown), but I feel it my duty to state that this is not the way the experiment would have been carried out had it been done scientifically. Unless it was a mad scientist with either a death wish, grudge against humanity, a mean streak, or not minding a bit of pain. Having personally seen Happy when pain should have been received (for instance, I've seen his head chopped off after he was set on fire which was caused by a combination of lazer beams and gasoline being poured on him, followed by several large hammers hitting him, and then a vaporization beam slicing through him. He was perfectly fine ten minutes later), I think it's the latter.