h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And as for the facts I started the thread noticed the irreversible topic drift and poted new facts to new threads to make it easier for a compiler of this article to glean the facts.

As for Necro's threat as he's already edited one of mine and left it in tact, I think he is totally obliged to meander as much as he wants. Magic Walrus great input, may I suggest to post it to a less cluttered thread just in case Crusader misses the detail when he comes to finalising it.

It wasn't really a threat. It just might happen. But thanks for the vote of support, Demon Drawer. You tend to be a rather historical writer, don't you? Like your early English history? I think I have another couple of yours to do. I think I passed the last one for the paid editors to look at...

Keep writing articles, everyone.

Necr

Good to here they are now getting looked at. There are about 50 of mine in the queue at various stages. I just started with Alfred though and worked from there. I may eventually get up to the Norman conquest, I've gone back as far as I can from old Alfred.

I'll keep you busy whilst I'm busy ACEing, don't want to feel like the only one doing anything around here.

Oh it doesn't really keep me that busy. I did my first batch of ten in about an hour and sent it straight back. From the reaction of the editors, this seems to be no mean feat...

Necr

I'm sure they are glad to have you on board.

Dear sweet Necro
It doesn't often happen in life that I come across someone who is sensitive, crude AND illiterate all at the same time. I'm not surprised your girlfriend keeps you locked up. (I suppose I was meant to infer that you have a lot of sex with her. As you would put it - b*ll*cks. Your penis is obviouisly very small indeed!)

....in fact I wouldn't be surprised if you're homosexual.

Necro
I've calmed down a bit now. I suppose I was a bit taken aback by the ferocity of your reply. You seem to have taken what was meant to be a
stout defence of my City - and a good-humoured, Blackadder-style, comment on the previous messages - a little seriously. Shouldn't it be you who should take a chill out pill (whatever one of those is)? Maybe also you should live nearer your girlfriend?
What particularly struck me about my own reply was the comment about being gay. I am, and I've never in my life used it as cheek. I've never been so ashamed of myself. Maybe you're right. A little loosening up may be called for. But maybe I'm just a bit too old anyway.
Regards
MW

actually for your information it just so happens that our darling sweetie pie necro is (apparently) a very good shag ok!! sorry if i just embarressed anyone but it had to be said before anybody else decides to insult him. so can you please just grow up and get a life. cheers.

Hey MW, I'm a geordie too. I was born in the RVI, and have lived my entire life in Gosforth and Whitley Bay. I wasn't attacking Newcastle in the slightest, just making a point about the bouncers. I wouldn't want any other Researchers getting beaten up when it could be stopped.

I would try moving closer to my girlfriend, if I wasn't still a Sixth-Former and therefore penniless. And humour, especially sarcasm or irony, is very difficult to convey through a text-based medium. And comments about small genitals are rather purile, and not really anything I'd expect from a fellow hiker.

That said, I accept your apology and hope that my comments did not, in turn, cause undue offence.

Necr

Where can I get a Stottie cake? Does Sainsbury's sell them?
What about Blue Star Broom, I've never heard of it....?

Where can I get a Stottie cake? Does Sainsbury's sell them?
What about Blue Star Broom, I've never heard of it....?

ok not funny. what have you said to hayley coz she's not talking to us now. we were only telling you what she'd been telling us.
she's here now watching what i'm saying just in case i say something she doesn't want you to know!
hey that's not true. hey baby i would never keep anything from you and you know that. xxx
yeah anyway so thanx so much for telling your darling hayley!

Hey, when you said what you did in the last post, I had to say something to her. Hayley never mentions what she thinks about it to me.

OK, Daisy; your inquires. Stottie cakes are usually only available from local bakers in the North East. However, it would be easy to make one yourself. You use a standard bread dough recipe, and then instead of making it into a loaf, you just bake it as a huge bun, about ten inches in diameter and about 1 to 2 inches thick. As for Blue Star Broon, the eminent researcher is referring to the widely renowned Newcastle Brown Ale, the only beer that I know of to be placed on the Protected Foods list (the thing that says that Champagne can only be produced in the Champagne region of France, and that says that camembert can only be made in Camembert. Brown Ale can now only be produced in Newcastle, by Scottish and Newcastle Breweries).

Hope that helps you out, Daisy.

Necr

When I was at college, 'Blue Star Broon' was known as Newkey Brown but since people laugh in my face when I say it now, I have restricted myself to John Smiths or Bass which I am luckily able to promounce okay...!

Thanks for your help! Now at least if I ever make it out of Jesmond Dean and into Newcastle proper I shan't be quite lost....

J that's not true. (yeah it's me by the way) you always get something out of me even if i don't want to tell you. god man! besides i like playing little games with you it's fun! you get annoyed though so i wont do it anymore and i'm not telling the other two anything anymore either coz they'll just run and tell you.

gee thanx now look what you've done your just gonna have to guess what hayley thinks now aren't you? she wont tell us anymore and it's all your fault!!

Go ask for a bottle of dog and see the looks you then get
Yes it is another way of asking for Newcastle Brown Ale.

That's bizarre - As a girl from Scotland I don't know these things. What other local things should I know about - I am thinking of coming down for a visit and I want to local slang for things. Also where is cool to go out?

Metrocentre? That's in Gateshead, not Newcastle. Darlington? What the f**k has that got to do with Newcastle? Old news I know, but it's that kind of attitude that pisses me off.

What kind of music are you into? Newcastle is officially the eighth best party city in the world (ahead of Las Vegas and some other places.) Try a night in the 'Bigg Market' (Monday is normally the best - cheap and packed out). It's basically a street full of pubs and that is where most people end up. Gotham Town (opposite the train station) is quite cool and the Empress (end of the high level bridge is my personal favourite (shooters for 75p). If you are going clubbing, try the 'Tuxedo Princess' (it's a big boat sitting in the River Tyne.) which is pretty cool. Avoid Klub Ikon like the plague unless you are a hysterical 14 year old slapper.