h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey! The way you describe Dungeons and Dragons makes everyone who play seem like friendless, dorky, sociopaths. I take offense. I've played the dungeonmaster before, and I can tell you, nobody in the group was sociopathic in the least. I resent that. And I'm sure the other members of the group would had they read this. Please don't stereotype. It's mean, wrong, and makes people mad.

Okay, I searched, and some people take the game quite seriously. But you mustn't assume that everyone who plays and likes those games is like that. I play it very seldom, but when I do, I enjoy it. Don't think that everyone who plays is the cultist-sociopath type.

This piece is written in a tongue-in-cheek manner. After all, who could possibly write this piece without having been one of the nerds who played it? The DM as a sociopath is also tongue-in-cheek... his job is to challenge the players, but sometimes he would get annoyed at the players, and decide he needed to kill them. I had more than one DM who felt like that at one time or another. They got real annoyed at me when I guided the party through an elaborate escape, too.

Try not to take this thing so seriously. I found D&D to be a lot of fun, and I laughed at what I was doing when I played it. Now that I'm not playing, I'm still laughing.

Yah, us sociopaths don't much care to be lumped in with gamers.

You forgot to mention the god complex that many of the socio..er, um,...dungeon masters became afflicted with. Our group sat down and compiled a list of the characteristics of the Chaotic Evil Dungeon Master...
For instance...

Chortles gleefully when introducing 74 hit-die monsters into small, wizard-locked rooms.
Walks around saying 'Mwaa-haa-haa!" a lot.
Serves beer and coke to gamers, and then reminds them that the toilet is out of comission.
Goes into a profound depression when he/she fails to kill off at least 2 player characters per game. Must be comforted.
Has a little rubber stamp of the main classes, so that he can keep score of his kills.(Alternately, just carves notches on his die}

I can't remember the rest of it. We should have written it down, along with the guide to the care and feeding of the chaotic evil dungeon master.

LOL!

Aurgh! Don't be so touchy! I like people like that! I haven't played DnD yet but I love Mou which is with cards and the more freakish and mean and Dungeon master ish your Mou is, the more fun it is!