h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My dad's favourite was 'The Leith police dismisseth us', which makes you sound like you've got a lisp if you get it wrong. My mum also has a favourite German one, which I can't remember but I'll post it when I do.

Here're some variations on the pheasant pluckers

I'm a pheasant plucker,
I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm the best mother pheasant plucker
That ever plucked a mother pheasant.

My father's the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
So I'm stuck here plucking pheasants
'Till the pheasant plucker comes.

The challenge in the following exercise is to distinguish between the "wh" (HHW) and "w" (W):

Whether the weather be fair
Or whether the weather be hot,
We'll weather the weather,
Whatever the weather,
Whether we like it or not.

Cheers!

The pheasant that I was taught in drama class was:

I'm a mother pheasant plucker
I pluck mother pheasants
I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker
To ever pluck a mother pheasant.

Another classic is:

Sally sells sea shells down by the sea shore.

I was taught:

"She sells sea shells by the sea shore"

Then there's:

"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers"

...I think in fact, this is the first line of a longer rhyme...does anyone know it?

"Peter Piper picked a pick of pickled peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?"

Then there's:

"One smart man, he felt smart
Two smart men, they felt smart
Three smart men, they felt smart
And they all felt smart together"

And:

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all the wood it could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."

Try:

"Marbles are red" ten times fast.

And this is a good one for others:

Say "silk" ten times fast. What do cows drink? (They will usually say milk, but this is wrong)

      o      o       o      o
° ° ° °

My Peter Piper only differs from yours in the first two lines:

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
A peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper Picked?

How about repeating quickly:

"Toy boat"

"Unique New York"

And then there's counting with:

One rubber baby buggy bumper,
Two rubber baby buggy bumpers,
Three rubber baby buggy bumpers,
and so on...

There are even pages devoted to tongue twisters in many different languages.

A fisherman known as Fischer
Was fishing for fish in a fissure
A fish with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fischer

3

as jester told me, it looks like we had the same idea, but you were faster . If you'd like, get the english ones from my tongue twister page (http://www.h2g2.com/A181054), if you don't have them already .
k*

You can continue "she sells sea shells by the sea shore" with:
"and the sea shore shells she sells
are sea shore shells I'm sure"

I think it goes something like:
"Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers, so if Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Pepper, where's the peck of Pickled Pepper Peter Piper Picked?"

Also you could try:
"The King and Queen parted on the hill."
This has to be spoken whilst pulling each side of your mouth outwards with each hand!!!

The version of the "smart man" one I learned was

"One smart feller, he felt smart
Two smart fellers, they felt smart
Three smart fellers, they felt smart
And they all felt smart together"

Which gives even *more* opportunitites to stuff up.

LOL

3

JOTD: Urine is yellow and semen white so guys know if they're coming or going

Could your mum have been thinking of:

"Blaukraut bleibt Blaukraut und Brautkleid bleibt Brautkleid?"

(Blue-herb stays blue-herb and a bridal dress stays a bridal dress) or something like that.

In Ulm und um Ulm herum!

These are from http://www.funny.com (I'm just copying them, they may have been said before):

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw!

Betty Botter had some butter. "But," she said, "this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter--that would make my batter better." So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So it was better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter. Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Which witch wished which wicked wish?

She sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the sea shore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack; sheep should sleep in a shed.

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

I feel a funny feel,
A funny feel I feel,
If you feel the feel I feel,
I feel the feel you feel.

If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?

How many seals did the seal slicer slice since the seal slicer shan't slice slippery seals.

Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

Square Spheres Swear

How much Fud, could a fud picker pick, if a fud picker could pick fud?

Surely Sylvia swims!" shrieked Sammy, surprised. Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink."

3

JOTD: Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.

If you all enjoy tongue twisters, then you would also enjoy Danny Kaye's song "Tongue Twisters" in which he sings a great many tongue twisters such as:
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
but Moses supposes erroneously
for Moses he knowses his toeses ain't roses
which Moses supposes his toeses to be.

I remember that from Singing in the Rain, sung by Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor. (Not the whole song, just the 'Moses supposes...' bit.)