h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You mean you're lop-sided as well - boy, the mind boggles

Well, if I hide most of my limbs, and my fins, and shave above the bridge of my nose, and if the light is just right and you squint your eyes and stretch your imagination, then I kind of look a bit like Robert Redford. Almost.

That sounds reasonable - I can safely believe that you are actually the spitting image of Robert Redford. People have actually commented to me on my uncanny resemblance to Julia Roberts - I think it is the long legs and flowing auburn hair - oh yeah and the drop-dead-gorgeous smile. see. (It is a little known fact that Ms Roberts is actually 5 foot 2 and makes all her co-stars stand in ditches).

The 'standing in ditches' comment reminds me of an old Python sketch about 'So-and-So of the Antarctic'. Hee hee. Prima donnas.

I thought your hair was ginger...

Ginger, auburn - it's all just a matter of lighting - the ginger is predominantly to stop me getting mobbed in the street the resemblance is so strong

But surely fans would see right through such an obvious ploy and want bits of your clothing as a souvenir of having seen Julia Roberts on the street (a small shred of possibly clothing is certainly proof of such an event, as all fans know).

This is the UK - you have to consider the generally reserved nature of our gentlefolk.

Being mobbed by fans isn't actually a big risk - but you can't be too careful. As a museum assistant, albeit with drop-dead gorgeous qualities - the yelling mob tend to stay away (it's the proximity of real culture, I think - far too scary)

I can empathise with your plight. It certainly is a drag sometimes being virulently cultured and violently handsome, isn't it?

Canada's the same way. Just over a month ago, I was out for lunch with a co-worker and we noticed a small crowd of people across the street. Then we notice that standing around at the heart of this little crowd is Sylvester Stallone (who is also a bit height-challenged). It's a bit ironic that I had just walked out of a shop where I had just bought 'First Blood' on DVD, which is a Stallone flick that was filmed here in British Columbia (the town of Hope, to be precise) some years ago.

The crowd, however, was just standing there, sort of looking at him. Nobody was freaking out or shouting or trying to get close to him or anything. Pretty subdued group for the height of a Vancouver lunch hour.