h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just checked my forum posting stats. Since arriving here, I've made 533 posts in 92 conversations. Am I addicted to H2G2? Am I insane? Am I some kind of weevil? I know the answer to at least one of those questions.

Yes
Yes
Yes

Smarty-pants.

My brother just left. It's 12:30am. The hockey game ended (Canucks won, yay) and my brother wanted to watch a movie, so we watched the Blair Witch Project. I'd never seen it before. It's very creepy, and the acting is very convincingly candid. Very creepy movie. I'm very tired now, because I as tired before the movie started. I'll never go camping again. ?

AS already mentioned somewhere around here I am currently avoiding that film as I know it will put the wind up me (another charming British phrase). DM saw it the other night and thought it was pretty scary - and she does enjoy scary films and thinks herself immune to their spookiness... I am currently planning nasty little tricks to play on her to see if I can weird her out (*evil laughter*)

I could offer suggestions for creeping her out, but I wouldn't want to spoil the film for you. I take it that you tend to avoid roller coasters as well?

No - I love rollercoasters... I just don't like films that play on the fear of the dark and those little noises you can't quite explain and being lost and scared and stuff. I actually quite enjoy some of the blockbuster type 'scary' films e.g. big monster / alien stuff. I just know that the type of suspense of the Blair Witch Project will not agree with me - so I'm wimping out on it as a cinema experience - I'll probably see it when it comes out on video (but maybe not)

Well, it's out on video here (and DVD of course). So you can go see it in the theatre now.

Actually, it would be better to see it at home, at night, preferably by yourself. If you must be with someone, make sure they either haven't seen it yet or that they aren't the type to talk during a movie.

I like creepy films (big surprise, right?) like Jacob's Ladder, which creeped me right out of my pants. I had no pants on after watching that film. The Blair Witch Project is pretty scary and very creepy. It's like, the more you don't _want_ to see it, the more you _have_ to see it.

And no fair closing your eyes. You'll only make it worse for yourself because your brain will fill in that gap with something even worse and you'll have nightmares about it.

Right - well I'm definitely not seeing it now - and I've been avoiding Jacob's Ladder for a pretty long time now as well...

You haven't seen Jacob's Ladder either? Ooo, I'd love watching those films with _you_. You'd be fairly freaking out, I figure.

Yup - which is why I haven't seen them. I know what's good for me .. I can be a big enough nervous wreck at times already without exasperating the problem by intentionally trying to scare myself - I put it down to an over-active imagination - which is why I think BWProj will unnerve me as so much of the scary bits are left for you to fill in (is this correct?)

Oh ho ho, that movie was made with over-active imaginations in mind. It's like the slavering fangs of the weevil. You can't see them, but you _know_ they're there.

Slavering fangs don't scare me - I can take on any weevil - all weevils in fact.

Would you be saying that walking home at night and being accosted by six blood-thirsty weevils with potatos on their breath, vividly describing their salvering fangs to you in the most colourful way imaginable? Hmmm. I think you might want to think about that.

OK, firstly, I'd be able to tell by the potato-breath stench that they'd recently feasted - so they wouldn't be searching for fresh blood/starch... so as long as I didn't wind them up..

OK so I would politely comment to the one that looked as if it were the leader that he was looking particularly fetching tonight - that his fangs were resplendindly glistening - and that the others were sure to admire his shiny and tough-looking shell.. and then I'd flutter my eyelashes seductively - and then if that didn't work I'd stomp on them with my size 5 (38) combat boots and watch them ooze.

Scale is everything if charm fails...

That's not very nice. All they're really after is biscuits and treats. Would you so deprive six little doe-eyed weevils of some simple snack-treats?

Gosh, Frizz, you've become so hostile of late. What gives?

Well, I seem to have lulled you in to a false sense of weevil-related security... I actually am a member of the Weevil Revolutionary Brigade - I was sent to infiltrate the inner sanctum andundermine your inalienable position.

And I have done my job so well as to be cited on your own page and in your own fair hand as being worthy of weevil-recognition. You have signed your own death-warrant....

But you were the one who _gave_ me the epithet, 'Weevil-meister' in the first place, you 'just as silly as I am' person.

All part of the master plan...

You don't seriously want to undermine my weevils and I, do you?

Gosh, you can sound quite pathetic if you try. I'm afraid I have succumbed to your patheticness and withdrawn my attempts at a coup - although soup still sounds like a good idea - maybe I misread the memo in the first place and I should have just gone for soup instead...

You're plan of playing the pathetic loser has paid off - my vindictive nature has subsided and I am once more the lovely little penguin you first (mis)placed your trust in. Honestly.