h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't much like mornings at the best of times. I never usually hand-write anything longer than a postcard. I hate writing quickly - I take a pride in my use of language, and prefer to craft my words carefully. I like to check my facts and consider whether things might be better phrased before presenting a piece of work as finished product. Given that opportunity, I can generally produce something pretty good. My University marks for essays I've written in this way have ranged from 64% to 85%.

You can probably imagine, therefore, how I felt today about having an exam starting at 9:15am in which I was required to hand-write two essays in quick succession in two hours. This is a totally unnatural way of working for me, and I can't accept that it's the best way for my knowledge of a subject - in this case, Modern Social & Cultural Trends - to be assessed. It is surely far more of a test of my ability to function under great pressure - and I readily admit to being fragile under stress.

I scribbled out some sort of something for two hours. My essays were collected. At the end, the invigilator said something to us that I couldn't take in; I was so stressed out and exhausted that my capacity for comprehension had vanished. I staggered off to the Student Union bar in a distressed daze, and almost got in trouble by absent-mindedly going to the wrong table after a visit to the loo and picking up someone else's . (Fortunately, I realised before I drank any. )

Why is this mind-warping horror known as exams visited on innocent people? Aren't there supposed to be international agreements prohibiting cruel and unusual punishments?

On the other hand for intelligent lazy people who thrive on pressure but cannot be bothered to spend ages on coursework exams are great.

I do though feel sorry for people who dont like them, invariably these people are far more studious than me and just dont get what they deserve out of exams.

I am sure you did well though Ormy if you know your stuff.

Ormy, I sympathize. I don't like to write quickly either. But I was always a good enough BSer that I did well on essay exams.

to both of you. I feel better for venting, and I see what you mean, Ferrett - there is the consolation that at least the exam is all over in two hours, whereas writing an essay 'properly' would dominate my life for a week. But I'd still much rather do the latter. To me, being judged on something I've been forced to dash off without any time for care or craft is kind of like a Cordon Bleu being judged on how well he runs a fast-food bar.

What's a BSer, Hyp?

Ooh, an opportunity for a game of hangman.

B_ _ _ S _ _ _

Your go, Orm .

My father's favorite word, by the way.

Pah! You think you've got it bad. When I did my final accountancy exams a few years back, I had to do six three-hour exams in three days. My wrist hurt so badly at the end of each day that I had to have ice-packs strapped to them in the evening.

Really?

That sounds harsh.

Allthough arre you sure you were not oding something else that hurt your wrists?

Ah yes, Hyp and Amy. I'd never quite grasped the full significance of the British BSc qualification before!

I waffled heroically and dropped names shamelessly today too. I will be stunned and horrified if I've failed the exam, since I think that any fair-minded examiner will be able to see that I'm not stupid, I've read some , I can write a bit and I have a reasonable understanding of the subject. But I'm not entirely sure of what the academic criteria are - and, dammit, I don't just want to scrape through! I want a *good* pass!

I sympathise, GD. My wrist ached after two hours today - and I had eye-strain, as if I was going a bit blind. And I do mean after two hours of *writing*.

Actually Ormy, I have a BA rather than a BS. But I had to BS to get the BA.

I wish I could say that I did BA to get a BSc, but I actually worked very hard and, oddly, I have a BA in Physics.

Try getting into a rage next time Ormy - worked for me!

The best marks I ever got for an essay was one written in fury - we were given a list of subjects from which we had to pick one to write about, and they were all equally hopeless.

I sat there quietly fuming for a few minutes, then randomly picked one, and wrote an essay without thinking about disposition(?) or anything, just running on cold rage.

I didn't even bother to read it through afterwards, just handed it in early and left in disgust, wanting very much to slam the door shut behind me.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I got it back, with top marks!

You have a BA, Amy? Bachelor Ant, perhaps? Or BrilliAnt?

Excellent. BrilliAnt.

When will you get the results of your exam?

That, Hyp, is a really good question to which I don't yet know the answer. I'm going up to the Uni tonight, so I'll try to find out!

I'll get the results by post in a couple of weeks or so, apparently. I wonder if that means they can chuck me out before the start of next term if I've really ed it up?

I was talking to one of my young student friends about the exams today, and she agreed that one of the hardest things was just having to write legibly that quickly for that long. I'm glad it's not just a case of me struggling because I'm a bit old and creaky!

BrilliAnt!

I write with a pen so rarely these days that I find it really difficult to write legibly. I even have trouble signing my name.

Ouch, Ormy...

I don't quite know how I'd survive any 2-4 hour written exam these days

Amy, you can always just put 6 footprints, can't you?

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(sad to say that it took me 10 seconds or more to find out what was going on... )