h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Television Howlers - A4883600
Author: Emmily~ (Ace/Guru/Scout/Human ) ~ I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. - U190758

This is the start of an Entry that I hope will expand with the help of others Researchers.

If you have a favourite TV howler, please submit it below, along with a paragraph which includes who said it, when and why.

(It doesn't have to be sport, I will be adding other titles)

All contributers will be credited on the Entry.

Emmily

What a great idea!

(So I hate to be a party pooper immediately, but there's a problem with the Johnston remark. Firstly, it was on the radio. Secondly, it was Don Mosey who said it, with Johnston then trying to talk while giggling after it)

Of course, you could just change the title - TV and Radio? Broadcast?

I am really going to try to compensate for this terribly bad form by thinking extra hard though - a really good idea.

That's not the first howler I've made, and it won't be the last.

Ok, will change it to 'TV and Radio'

That's one of my favourite howlers, I googled to find out more about it, I got my info. that says it was Brian Johnston here:

http://michael-holding.area51.ipupdater.com/

I'm not trying to argue with you Trin Tragula, just explaining why I said what I did. If this page is not correct, I'll have to try to find a page that is, unless you know one.

Emmily

No, no, we *must* argue I took it from here:

http://www.radioacademy.org/halloffame/johnston_b/index.shtml

HOWEVER *screech* - in the process of trying to re-find it, I also came across a site where Henry Blofeld was quite clear in saying that it *was* Johnston (and he should know). So I'm changing my mind and going with you instead

Oh and there's the other great Johnston story: Jonathan Agnew makes a reference to how Ian Botham had "failed to get his leg over" (the stumps) and Johnston collapses into fits of giggles.

Which can actually be heard here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/cta/sport/programmes/tms/2001/leg_over.ram

Interestingly, what I've dug up, is that it was Johnston, but it wasn't, as it was apparently, never said on air at all...the plot thickens

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3341-756193,00.html

3rd/4th paragraph from bottom.

I came across the'leg over' too. will find out more.

I'm also trying to find out about 'Linford Christie's got a habit of pulling it out when it matters most'

Emmily

Oo, that's quite intriguing I find the idea of Johnston making it up quite appealing, in fact.

I hadn't heard the Linford Christie one before

I'll change that paragraph tomorrow, work it so that it includes both Don Mosey and Brian Johnston and did they or didn't they say it.

Emmily

You know of course that Murray Walker is famous for this sort of thing. There's an Entry about him: A543052. David Coleman was also famous for it. Private Eye had a column of howlers every month named after him - Colemanballs.

This came from the incident where Coleman was commenting on a running race. One of the runners suddenly speeded up and took the lead. Colemane said something along the lines of "he just opened his legs and really showed us his style".

More Murrayisms: http://www.sowpub.com/cgi-bin/forum/webbbs_config.pl/read/3446

I think Murray made enough, urm, predictions that immediately turned out not to be true (as he put it) to warrant an entry of Murrayisms alone! I put a choice few in my Muzza entry, but there's hundreds!

Can't find it at the moment, but there was that radio reporter chap in the UK (think it must have been BBC) commenting on some big parade thing (might have been the queens coronation?) and he had had a little bit to drink and got a little excited and announced the Royal Horse Artillary the wrong way round, resulting in the The Royal Arse Hortillary

But I can't remember who it was, anyone got any idea?

In New Zealand, you can't go past Murray Mexted, one of our Rugby Union commentators, and if you can add just one of these I'll be a happy man.

http://clubs.juniata.edu/mensrugby/quotesmurray.htm

Sorry, no dates though.

Matt

'The big Cuban opened his legs and showed his class'

David Coleman
Montreal Olympics 1976
about Alberto Juantorena, the runner with the nine-foot stride

This is the comment that inspired the term Colemanballs, for this type of thing.

Cheers for those

Looks like I'll have to forget my original idea and having dates and details, or it will be a very short Entry, but will include them where known.

Those Murrayisms are great not found or read Colemanballs yet, but I will. I'll probably put them under the header 'Isms and Balls'

DrMatt, do you know what new law this one is about?

"I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him."

(I'm not a morning person, so I doubt I'll do anything to the Entry until later.)

Emmily

I'm already loving it!

How much info do you think we'll need to be able to provide?

My favorite was a broadcast game (cannot remember the teams or announcer), the howler from which was:

These boys have literally come back from the dead and they're playing a terrific game!

Always made me wonder if they'd had a defibrillator on the field, or had been turned into mummies or vampires.

Cheers Fords

I'm considering changing title to 'Sports TV and Radio Howlers', I've just been googling, found Colmanballs, there seems to be enough to narrow the scope to just sport, any comments on that.

Emmily

I think just sport would be fine, otherwise you'd have to cover TV presenters falling over in the mud and kids pulling faces behind news reporters...

Another thing about Murray Walker is that any prediction he made turned out immediately to be wrong. If he said how good someone's race was going, they would crash on the next corner. If he said someone couldn't lose the Grand Prix now, their engine would blow up within seconds. Drivers had been known to ask him not to talk about how well they were doing, especially in a vital race, because if he did he was bound to put the kiss of death on things!

Cheers Cyzaki, that's been added.

Anyone any comments on what I've done so far?

Emmily

"I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him."

The Rugby law in question is to do with an interpretation of the tackled ball rule where the player who is tackled must release the ball as soon as he hits the ground (some referees previously allowed a couple of seconds so the player could turn and place the ball for his own players more effectively). Now, what Mexted is saying is that the new law means that forwards have to dive onto the player on the ground in order to protect the ball from the opposition.

So it kind of makes sense, but the wording's rather unfortunate. Much like in Mexted's other phrases, so if you need some other explanations...

Matt

Or, now that I look at it, maybe he was talking about the OLD law, and the new law means you CAN'T go down... oh, I'm confused.