h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey guys, I was only joking, this forum has actually been fun, considering the subject. I agree that having the women in the sect is a great idea (would we interview, invite or just kidnap?) and jumping into the 'is DNA God' tangent has created a suitable sideline. I am amazed that so many people would have the same view on this as myself.
Superstition has a controlling hold on all our lives, the question being when this will enter the world of IT. How many superstition could start from not logging in on the hour, etc.

It is also interesting to see the movie Pi entering into the forum. This is a film which was considered to have a very small appeal. I think that thanks to this forum, it appears to be gaining fans rapidly. That to shows the power of the Internet as a advertising feature. If small forums like this (by small, I mean that it is not the size of a small chat room like Freeserve chat) can almost insite someone to start a cult (let's face it someone out there is bound to follow the idea) then the Internet is a powerful force and DNA was one of the first authors to jump in with both feet, after all HHGTTG started the idea of an information service offering info about everything. I feel that search engines must have been based on the guide and one day, will even copy the same ideas.

In many ways the Guide has become the new bible, anyone logging into this site has read the book or seen the program and I am sure, that many of the forum posters have, at one time, quoted the book (how many have used the 'that's just peanuts to space' line, but never had use for the 'Whats this fish doing in my ears'), even altavista's translation service is called 'Babelfish' (it was amuzing trying to explain that to a non-hiker).

Is DNA the second coming, no, but is he a sign of the second coming, well, he has told us many tales that have become common knowledge, he has had visions of the future and, with the reported release next year of a real version of the Guide, he has helped the expansion of human knowledge. I am not painting him as the all powerful being (hey, I waited long enough for a new book to even begin to think that), its just that he is part of our lives, the same as King, Pratchet, even Archer is to others.

Long live the author, just one of the many, new gods.

http://www.h2g2.com/A180802

Have Cult, will travel...

I need some sermons, and we need to start up a cult membership, and of course come up with very foolish names for ourselves.

I will of course take the moniker "Grand Hairless Beaver".

Sermons are easy, lets just quote from songs, in a slow, monotone voice, but raise the voice at the chorus. I think the first sermon should be 'I should be so lucky' or 'Firestarter'. Just to get things going

Nice Cult Merkin!

I shall be named (as foretold in our soon to be writ... I mean discovered, Book of Pronunciations)...The Pariah of Pertitude.

Pertness is very important when assessing incoming cult members.

Glad you wuz only kiddin'

But it was a fine example of how things can be misunderstood on the net due to it not being able to express tone of voice etc.

Come on join the Cult!

We can go to other forums and recruit.

Vlad.

Ps. glad you like this forum, I've had fun myself.

Good thinking. Do you know the lyrics to Fire - Crazy world of Arthur Brown?

If there was a god, and he is now dead, what did he die of? And why didn't his son (presuming there was one) follow in his father's footsteps? Did he kick it in to be a plumber?

The Pope, in a recent sadly under-reported announcment, has restructured heaven.

I quote "It is not a physical place amongst the clouds, but a living relationship with the Holy Trinity."

I'm pleased he cleared that up.

Strangly there was no mention of what help will be offered to the redundant angels as they join the world's growing mass of displaced people.

You say: "Is DNA the second coming, no, but is he a sign of the second coming", DNA says: "Oh, come on. I think this is getting needlessly messianic". It's been noted (I don't know how many people have noted it, but my father does it all the time) that you can find something in the Bible to back up just about any argument. This may be because of the sheer size of the book. I have, sitting in front of me, one very large, blue book -- not the Bible -- containing five novels and a short story. Perhaps this is why we can read so much into it that may or may not be there. I brought up the Pi thing in the first place and turned my back for about a day and look we've started a cult. I suppose that it's too late for my input on what type of cult it should be, but I'd like to suggest that we combine genres. We could be Hippie back to the Earth types who stockpile firearms and kidnap Californian women. Also, I think that we should seriously look into dietary restrictions for cult members. Perhaps we should ban squash, or require that kumquats must be eaten during our own Cultish New Year's celebration (which comes around every 42 thursdays and lasts a week). And I think we should have an inner room in every temple (let's call it the California room) where orgies take place during these New Year's celebrations. And if we're going to die our fatigues Buddhist orange, as was suggested, should we shave our heads as well? And wouldn't this make us look unneccisarily like prison inmates? And aren't there ANY females on this forum? I'd think some woman would have protested to the big breasted bikini clad californian's comments by now!

Protest against big breasted bikin clad californians.
I protest!

Well...I have just recently joined h2g2 and happened upon this forum completely by accident (I was looking for the mentioned, but unfortunately imaginary, entry on the unifying theory of physics). I have to say, what a first impression! From DNA being a deity, to California cults, this sure is a diverse group. But let me give my insignificant input on said subjects:
1) God is still around. I just had a conversation with Him this morning.
2) DNA is a genius, which, unfortunately, probably means he's an atheist. (Of course if he believes himself to be a god, this doesn't matter anyway. But if he's wrong, then he's in a lot of trouble!)
3) Though I am a female, I don't oppose the Californian cult. I just have to say (with usual female intelligence and wit), how do you think the large-mammalian glanded Californian women to feel about it? Do you really think they approve of your derrogatory comments, however well intended, about their bodies?
4) Of course, if you guys are good-looking, us women may be more inclined to join the afore mentioned cult. As long as we are not required to shave our heads. (And MUST we really go with the tacky orange outfits? I was thinking more like sky blue silk skirts and tight-fitting little tops...)

I shall NOT wear sky blue silk skirts and tight fitting little tops! The Potentate of Pletheral Punishment HAS spoken! As for whether we are good looking, this is irrelivant, as enough brainwashing could make me look like Tom Cruise, or a young Mel Gibson. Or am I thinking of alcohal? The head shaving/ orange battle fatigues question is a reasonable one, and I believe that Great Hairless Beaver Merkin or Vladimir, the Parhia of Pertitude, must answer this with due haste! Again, the Potentate of Pletheral Punishment has SPOKEN!

Uh, just one clarification for the Potentate of whatever: I believe you WROTE rather than spoke. Of course I could be mistaken. And then there's that alcohol factor again.

*I* shall be the one making sarcastic remarks about other people's literal accuracy, THANK you very MUCH! The Potentate of Pletheral Punishment HAS... er... WRITTEN!

Or should that be "Typed"... It sounds much more ominous as "Spoken", though...

Alcohol courses through the brain, down the veins to the fingers, where it metamorpasises into white joined-together dots masquerading miraculously as an h2g2 forum entry. I think, well maybe

Good grief, you go away for two days and look what happens. OKay, lets get things sorted out.. WE can not force people into our cult, unless we want to, we do not have to wear a regulated uniform, unless we want to, we do not have to shave our heads, unless we want to (or have no hair to start with). The main point being that we should do what we want.

Nice to see a woman adding to the forum, hi rashelle, love the idea about tight tops (ps are you single? hehehehe).

Anyway, lets get back on track. If god is dead, then the biggest questions still remain. Who was he, when did he die and was he murdered. I for one would not like to answer the last question, I mean the logistics of the case would be a nightmare. Who would prosequte, who would defend, who would give a character reference. And, what if, it is all a hoax, God just said he was dead to see how many people would turn up at the funeral (I have always liked that idea, except that I think my wake would be held in a night club, if you're gonna dance, might as well do it in style).

Other things matter more to nowadays society, I am sure the one things prayed for more than world peace is six numbers on a Saturday night (for viewers outside the UK, see UK Lottery).

A bigger question is, did God actually exist? We all know that life on earth is a fluke, right conditions, right structure, right mixture of chemicals ( I read once that 2% more Oxegen in the air would set the atmosphere alight if you stuck a match, lucky eh, if that had happened the first guy to find fire would have done the same as global nuclear war!)

So, considering these facts... Where does this forum end, shoudlwe spread it to other forums and how can we entice more single women to give thier views, ideas and telephone numbers to us.

Capitalised perhaps?

And isn't "It is written" better than "the potentate said"?

I was out drinking last night with a bunch (herd) of Californian women who told me that they have quite enough cults of their own without having to come and dig bomb-shelters in Kettering.

Did I tell you about the time I strayed into a cheerleader's training camp by mistake?

Is it possible to be pert yet large?

Anyway I just thought I'd drop by and let you all know that I've put a link from my home page to the righteous knight's entry.

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

It is I! The Pariah of Pertitude.

They SAY they don't want to dig out bunkers in Kettering, but secretly......

...they DO!

Anyway, how is recruiting them derogatory? Or is it the bikini bit?

And yes, I'm as handsome as they come, if you like that kind of thing.
(That kind of thing being what I look like)

But looks aren't important, anyone can join the Righteous Knights!
(We just prefer attractive, bikini clad Californian laydeezwho are good with a shovel.)

Oh yeah, and maybe God was just winding Nietzsche up, for a larf.
Or was going on holiday and wanted an excuse.

Orange battle fatigues must be worn at all times WHILST ON DUTY.

Wear what you like in your free time.

(No Irving, Not that!)